Girl: Dancing in the aisles should be illegal!
Friend: Why? It’s fun.
Girl: No, it’s dangerous. Remember when you broke your ankle last year?
Friend, sarcastically: Yeah, I shoulda seen that conga line coming.
–F train
Overheard by: Raye
Girl: Dancing in the aisles should be illegal!
Friend: Why? It’s fun.
Girl: No, it’s dangerous. Remember when you broke your ankle last year?
Friend, sarcastically: Yeah, I shoulda seen that conga line coming.
–F train
Overheard by: Raye
Guy: Don’t you get embarrassed carrying a Discman?
Girl with Discman: I don’t get embarrassed… Except that one time I farted in high school. But it was only embarrassing because I sneezed and farted at the same time.
Guy: What?
–6 train
Train announcer: This is an Eastchester-bound Five train. The next stop is Gun Hill Road.
Little black kid: No, Mommy! Don’t get off there! They’ll gun you on the hill!
Train announcer: This is Gun Hill Road.
Mother: Shut up! You do this every fuckin’ time! Get the hell over it! [Drags screaming child off train.]
–5 train, North Bronx
Overheard by: Benny P!
Girl #1: That thing on the tracks — is that a tampon applicator?
Girl #2, hesitantly: It… might be a syringe?
Girl #1: Oh… I’m not sure if I think that’s better.
–F train, 15th St
Young girl: I’m bored.
Father: Okay, let’s play the state name alphabet game.
Young girl: Yay!
Father: Okay, here we go — A?
Young girl: Alabama!
Father: Good. B?
Young girl: Bolivia!
Father: No, that’s a city in Spain. Try again.
Young girl: … I can’t!
Father: That’s because there are no states beginning with B! Ha! Gets you every time! Okay — C?
Young girl: Carolina!
Father: Eh, I shouldn’t really give you credit for that… but I guess this time… D?
Young girl: Dashwood!
Father: Dashwood?! What the fuck is Dashwood?! This game is over.
–C train
Overheard by: CPC
Goth girl with pumpkin: I mean, this’ll be good to stab, right?
Goth guy: Yeah… Too bad it’ll bleed orange instead of red. If only we had a severed head to stab…
–A train
Overheard by: Whubagong
Thug #1: Man, I still can’t believe you like Britney Spears! Ain’t no real nigga likes Britney Spears! That’s some dumb shit, man. Stupid shit.
Thug #2: Whoa, hol’ up a second — Britney Spears is a nice, attractive woman, and I respect her. How can that possibly be dumb? What the hell’s wrong with that?
Thug #1: Nigga, did you hear what you just said? You ain’t just stupid, you gay!
–3 train
Overheard by: Mike N
Guy #1: And where did you go to high school?
Guy #2: [Names high school.]Guy #1: Wait, where are you from, again?
Guy #2: I’m from just outside of Boston.
Guy #1: So, you’re a Red Sox fan?
Guy #2: Yup.
Guy #1: Asshole.
–6 train
Overheard by: Fellow asshole
Father: You’re white.
Daughter: No, no, no, no, no!
–Brooklyn-bound R train
Overheard by: evanescent
Hot drunk chick #1: Oh my god, your boob just made out with my boob!
Hot drunk chick #2: We’re boob brothers!
–F train
Overheard by: rach
