Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, our train cannot proceed because of the passenger on the tracks.
Young black dude: If he is on the tracks, he is not a passenger. Let’s go!
–N train
Overheard by: Julia
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, our train cannot proceed because of the passenger on the tracks.
Young black dude: If he is on the tracks, he is not a passenger. Let’s go!
–N train
Overheard by: Julia
Thug #1: Yo, what’s really good?
Thug #2: Yo, man, I added you to my ‘Top Eight’ today.
Thug #1: No doubt!
–F train
Overheard by: cindy
Black guy #1: I just realized this is a long-ass ride! It’s like 15 minutes!
Black guy #2: Shut up, nigga.
Black guy #1: Is that your breath I smell? It smells like you ate roast beef with a side of shit… and grits.
–1 train
Overheard by: DC
Student #1: When you walk through Chinatown, they push and shove right through you!
Student #2: Yeah, but you can’t get mad at them, because they do it to each other. It’s, like, cultural. [Students look over at a woman as she gets elbowed in the face by an old Asian man when he rubs his eye.]Student #1: Cultural… Cultural…
–Brooklyn-bound F train
B&T Yankee fan, staring at subway map: It’s stopping at all of them… It skipped three. How do you know where it stops?
Conductor: 59th Street, transfer here for the N, R, Q, W, and Six.
B&T Yankee fan, still staring at map: Maybe we should get off here? Is this the one we got off last time? Maybe we should have taken the A. It goes right to Penn, right? Does this not stop at the black dots?
–4 train
Overheard by: Jess McGins — I eventually intervened
Dude #1: That show Intervention is genius. Drug addicts make great TV.
Dude #2: Oh, I know, but I prefer the enablers.
–1 train
Overheard by: confused early twenty something
Preteen boy to another: Yo, he kilt that dude on the court!
Adult chaperone: ‘Kilt’?
Preteen boy: Killed.
Adult chaperone: And what is ‘kilt’?
Preteen boys, in chorus: A vernacular term.
Adult chaperone: That ain’t English.
–8th Ave-bound L train
Overheard by: i seize teaching opportunities too
Girl #1: I don’t know what I want to eat. I’m trying to decide between sushi and cereal.
Girl #2: All I know is I want something hot. I don’t really care what. This is just one of those times when you want something warm in your mouth, whether it’s a cup of soup or a penis.
–2 train
Chick: She’s a little angry right now.
Guy: Who, my mom or your cooch?
–4 train
Overheard by: Rachie
Black teen girl #1, about screaming baby at other end of car: Yo, someone needs to tell that baby to hush up.
Black teen girl #2: Damn, I know, right? Yo, baby, shut the fuck up!
–Coney Island-bound D train
