Biotech: Yeah, the last party she wore, like, lingerie and a coat.
Friend: She showed up mostly naked to a church?!
Biotech: So I told them ‘business casual’ this time.
–1 train, 86th & Broadway
Biotech: Yeah, the last party she wore, like, lingerie and a coat.
Friend: She showed up mostly naked to a church?!
Biotech: So I told them ‘business casual’ this time.
–1 train, 86th & Broadway
20-ish guy: You mean, you don’t look before sitting on a subway?! I mean, come on!
20-ish girl #1: It looks like puke.
20-ish girl #2: But it smells like bubble gum — it can’t be puke.
20-ish girl #3: I thought it was cum!
–V train
Young black woman #1: I’m sick of people all up in my face during my job.
Young black woman #2: Yeah?
Young black woman #1: Yeah, people come up yelling, ‘They took my babies away from me!’ and I’m like, ‘Well, maybe you should stop smoking the crack…’
–A train
Overheard by: Jesse
Mid-20s guy: He was like, ‘The market’s been up and down,’ so I was like, ‘Yeah, I’ve been up and down on your mom.’
Mid-20s girl: Oh, that’s real classy of you.
Mid-20s guy: What? You call people ‘faggots’ all the time!
Mid-20s girl: Yeah, but I don’t call their moms faggots!
–Q train
Overheard by: KingM and ALP
Dad: What are you going to do if a boy tries to kiss you?
Little girl: Bop him on the head.
Dad: That’s right — bop him on the head with a stick.
–1 train
Overheard by: Frank Kelly
Latina chick, in Spanish, after Korean tourist trips into her: Listen, you son of a bitch — don’t touch me, you faggot! You get me, asshole?!
Friend: Haha, babe, like this asshole understands what you’re saying?
Korean tourist, in Spanish: I lived in Puerto Rico for two years.
Latina chick, in English: Oh, word? What part?
–A train
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Boyfriend: Have you ever heard of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas?
Girlfriend: No, wait… Isn’t that your grandfather?
Boyfriend: No… My grandfather’s boyfriend was a kleptomaniac. Every Christmas my grandfather would have to rip all the tags off of everything so that no one would know that his boyfriend stole all the gifts.
–6 train
Guy in pink wig: So, have you heard from your friend Craig recently?
Go-go girl: No. I think he’s dead.
Guy in pink wig: He’s not dead. He has recent Facebook activity.
–1 train
Overheard by: nycdoll
Conductor: This train will be going express to 137th Street. The next stop on this train will be 137th Street.
Hobo: 137th Street! And if you don’t like it, buy your own train!
–1 train
Overheard by: EthanK
Young Asian man to Asian woman with baby, while touching baby’s foot: She is so soft. Does she have bones yet?
Asian mom: Yes, she has bones!
–L train
Overheard by: Lisa
