Conductor: This train will be going express to 137th Street. The next stop on this train will be 137th Street.
Hobo: 137th Street! And if you don’t like it, buy your own train!
–1 train
Overheard by: EthanK
Conductor: This train will be going express to 137th Street. The next stop on this train will be 137th Street.
Hobo: 137th Street! And if you don’t like it, buy your own train!
–1 train
Overheard by: EthanK
Young Asian man to Asian woman with baby, while touching baby’s foot: She is so soft. Does she have bones yet?
Asian mom: Yes, she has bones!
–L train
Overheard by: Lisa
Girl: So, whatever happened to Joe*? I heard he was engaged to some girl. I thought he was gay…
Guy: I don’t care what he says he is — once you lose your butt virginity, you’re gay for life.
–Manhattan-bound N train
Nerdy hipster to friends: You want nerdy? You know what I did today? I worked on this robot helmet I’m making on my floor. Yep, a robot helmet complete with LED lights — for my girlfriend. See? That’s love right there.
Girlfriend, explaining: I told him we could have butt sex.
Nerdy hipster, emphatically: But not until I finish the helmet!
–L train
20-ish girl: Oh, yeah! That game where you try to make her cum?
20-ish guy: Yeah.
20-ish girl: I played that last night!
–E train
Overheard by: Beth
Middle Eastern-looking yuppie: I would root for Al Qaeda before the Red Sox. [Middle Eastern-looking friends quietly express outrage.] Fine, I would root for the Janjaweed before the Red Sox. Is that better?
–Manhattan-bound 4 train leaving Yankee Stadium station
Overheard by: David H
Conductor, angrily: Stand clear of the closing doors!
Passenger: She need to get laid.
–F train
Overheard by: i do too
Blinged-out teen #1: You know, I heard for every ten pounds you lose, you gain an inch on your dick.
Blinged-out teen #2: Damn! Imagine if Ricky lost weight!
–1 train
Girl: Yeah, so me and Ronnie broke it off.
Guy: Really? Why?
Girl: Well, remember that girl, Nene? Yeah, she was like 14 or something, and he was fucking her.
Guy: And how old is he?
Girl: Twenty-one. You know what? I’m just done dating child molesters — been there, done that.
–R train, 57th St
High school thug #1: Man, you doin’ any feasible shit?
High school thug #2: Feasible? What’s that?
High school thug #1: Feasible is that… That’s some shit, man.
High school thug #2: Naw, man, I ain’t been goin’ to school.
–C train, 86th St
Overheard by: Emily B.
