Kid: What’s that?! What’s that?!
Mom, reading magazine: It’s a picture of an airport.
Kid: What happened?!
Mom: Someone was arrested.
Kid: For what?!
Mom: For yelling.
Kid, seriously: At her kids?
–F train
Kid: What’s that?! What’s that?!
Mom, reading magazine: It’s a picture of an airport.
Kid: What happened?!
Mom: Someone was arrested.
Kid: For what?!
Mom: For yelling.
Kid, seriously: At her kids?
–F train
Rambling six-year-old: … And when she came home, there was a body, and blood was everywhere ’cause he didn’t clean up after he murdered someone, and that’s when she realized–
Bored mom playing with cell: –That her husband was a slob?
–2 train
Overheard by: Good thing I’m neat
Crusty old man: You aren’t wearing makeup, but you don’t need it. I know, I’m a photographer.
Young woman holding flowers: Thanks.
Crusty old man: I take a long walk once a week to stay in shape. What are the flowers for?
Young woman: My roommate’s birthday.
Crusty old man: My brother’s a pediatrician. His birthday is July fourteenth.
–N train
Dude: So, did you go out with that guy last night?
Chick: Yeah, he was nice. I mean, he had scabies, but he was really nice.
–A train
Overheard by: erin
Mother: Did you see your aunt mailed you a present?
Four-year-old boy: No…
Mother: Yes. You can have it when you get home.
Four-year-old boy: Oh. Did she get one for Dustin*, too?
Mother: Yes, and it’s something I think you’ll like, too. It’s a book about sharks and sea monsters.
Four-year-old boy: Oh, Mom, there’s no such things as sea monsters, except back maybe a million years ago when people thought there were.
Mother: Well, sharks are kind of like sea monsters.
Four-year-old boy: No, they’re not!
–F train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Skinny hipster reading Windorphins ad to two buddies, in droll voice: Not only that, they are somewhere between super and duper.
Chubby dude across from them: So, are you guys into Updike?
–5 train
Ghetto girl #1, as lady tourist outside knocks on door: Why that woman knockin’ on the door?
Ghetto girl #2: ‘Cause she white.
–D train
Dude #1: The doctor said that I should stop finding blood in my piss within the next week if I keep taking this shit he prescribed.
Dude #2: That’s cool. Did you get to show him the tattoo on your dick?
Dude #1: Nah… I told him about it, though.
–6 train
Black guy: So, are we going to fuck tonight, or what?
White girl: I can’t, I have my period.
Black guy: Your mouth isn’t bleeding, is it?
White girl, giggling: Okay, fine.
–F train
Overheard by: Carrie
Bag lady: Excuse me, everyone– if you could be generous enough to make a donation… My husband got sick and is out of work, and I’m trying to raise some money for us to eat. He’s staying over at the shelter right now.
Dude: Stand by your man. My wife left me to fuck rich guys when I was down on my luck.
–L train
