Queer #1: He totally called me gay.
Queer #2: You sleep with men.
Queer #1: I don’t sleep with men. I sleep with babies.
–23rd & 6th
Queer #1: He totally called me gay.
Queer #2: You sleep with men.
Queer #1: I don’t sleep with men. I sleep with babies.
–23rd & 6th
Frat boys in truck: Wooo! Where the ladies at?!
Queer couple, walking arm-in-arm: Right heeere!
–East Village
Overheard by: afro*T*siac
Queer: There are a lot of young kids out there learning how to spell ‘glamorous,’ and that makes me real happy.
–Canal Jeans Co
Queer to tourist: You’re from Minnesota? My ex’s father was a senator from Minnesota. I went there once to meet him… I forget his name, but what we did was very taboo.
–Prince St
Queer to another: Don’t nudge me, you lesbian.
–Line for he Cyclone, Coney Island
Queer to boyfriend: You remind me of this autistic kid I worked with once.
–Park Ave
Overheard by: Katey
Queer on cell, perusing baked goods: I want a muffin. Do you want a muffin? This whole courtroom wants a muffin!
–Food Emporium
Overheard by: admittedly amused
Queer #1: He’s been with his boyfriend for seven weeks and they’re moving in together.
Queer #2: Really?
Queer #1: Yeah, and they’re even going to gay week at Disneyworld! I’m so jealous.
Queer #2: What’s gay week?
Queer #1: It’s this week where gays from all over the world go to Disneyworld to go on roller coasters and fuck.
–N train
Overheard by: G-dogg
Queer #1: You know the guy I mean? The one with the hairy boyfriend and those two big stupid dogs?
Queer #2: Honey, that could be anyone we know.
–23rd & 7th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Black queer on stretcher: Careful with me, darlings, I has a light bulb up my ass!
Bystander in ER: I hope it’s one of those energy-saving, compact, fluorescent light bulbs.
–Beekman Downtown Hospital
Overheard by: Big Larry
Fat, old, queer biker: Can you make a gin fizz?
Bartender: What is this, prom night?
–Cafe Loup, 13th & 6th
Overheard by: JoeQ
Friend reading magazine: Look! That guy has a double chin!
Queer: Yeah, that’s because he’s a fucking asshole that eats souls.
–1 train
Girl: Don’t you feel bad?
Guy: About what?
Girl: For one, you’re in your girlfriend’s jeans, her jacket, her flats, and her fucking pearls. And second…
Guy: And second what?
Girl: You got fucked by three different guys in the two days she’s been out of town.
Guy: If I suck so much, why the fuck are we friends?
Girl: ‘Cause when she is out of town, I have my own little gay Barbie doll and fashion expert all in one. And it’s your turn to buy the manicures.
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: Julie
Woman: He’s very successful. I’m sure he’s a millionaire by now, and he’s only 26. He never even graduated from college.
Queer: I’m soooooo jealous. I wish I didn’t have an education.
–Mott & Houston
