Girl #1: So, did I tell you that he called me his girlfriend?
Girl #2: Oh my god.
Girl #1: Yeah, it was like this Freudian slip thing, I’m pretty sure.
–W 4th St
Overheard by: Peter H
Girl #1: So, did I tell you that he called me his girlfriend?
Girl #2: Oh my god.
Girl #1: Yeah, it was like this Freudian slip thing, I’m pretty sure.
–W 4th St
Overheard by: Peter H
Queer #1: Do you love me?
Queer #2, holding his hand: No.
Queer #1: Then why are you holding my hand?
Queer #2: ‘Cause that’s what we’re supposed to do in public!
–The Village
Man on cell: If the girl does not say no, or does not back away, or does not seem to be pulling away… then that means she really likes you.
–Union Square
Dude: I’m needy and you do stuff for me. That’s how our relationship works.
–2nd Ave. & St. Mark’s Place
Girl on cell: Yeah, yeah, she’s definitely your type. She’s definitely your type… Yup, she’s bow-legged and pigeon-toed…
–16th & 6th
Boyfriend: Listen, you’re dissatisfied with me, and I’m dissatisfied with me. We have something in common! I think this relationship can work.
–32nd & 6th
Girlfriend: I wish you were asexual, except when it comes to me. That way you would only want to have sex with me. [Boyfriend stares.] Actually, I don’t wish that. I wish you’d like girls, but you’d find me so attractive that every time you’d even look at another girl, you’d find her ugly compared to me.
–36th & 3rd
Overheard by: Eryn
NYU freshman girl: I have a boyfriend — I don’t need a social life.
–Starbucks
College girl #1: Last night was amazing.
College girl #2: With the three West Point guys?
College girl #1: Yeah. When I got back to my room they were all passed out there. The one who was rolled in puke was in my bed. I wish more nights were like that.
–Columbia University
Guy: Do you think it’s… bad… that I think I’m going out… with him?
Gal friends, unconvincingly: No, no…
–H&M, Chelsea
Dude #1: Well, listen, dude — there are many correct decisions you can make.
Dude #2: Yeah, but I want to make the right one!
Dude #1: I know. I mean, there are two issues. There’s the cheating thing, which could, you know, really make her lose it, and there’s breaking up with her when you go to Chile.
Dude #2: Yeah, at this point I feel like it’s right to not tell her about the cheating. I mean, I’m a selfish person, and she knew that when we started dating.
Dude #1: Yeah, I mean, you are looking to emanate as much guilt as possible, and if you keep that to yourself, you don’t have to worry about it.
Dude #2: Listen, I’m trying to emanate as much guilt as I can, but it’s still tough. I just feel like she is so into me, and I mean, I think she’s attractive, but on the other hand, I have dated more attractive girls.
Dude #1: Listen, man, you have to take care of yourself. That’s always the right decision.
Dude #2: Well, I really worry about the cheating thing getting back to her.
Dude #1: Listen, dude, in the age of Facebook, nothing is private.
Dude #2, resigned: Totally.
–7th Ave, between 36th & 37th
Man: The last time I saw you it was cold, and now it’s warm.
Woman: I know.
Man: I just don’t know when to call you. I’m afraid that if I call you and you pick up when your husband is there, then we won’t be able to talk.
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: Appaled
Dude #1 on cell: I am so sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I love you. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. It will never happen again. What else can I say? [Hags up.]Dude #2: Damage control?
Dude #1: Damage control.
–Waiting for elevator, 3rd Ave
Overheard by: TrenchCoat
Bimbette #1: I was nervous for the two of them to meet.
Bimbette #2: Your dad’s kind of hard…
Bimbette #1: But they got along well! They have a lot in common.
Bimbette #2: Yeah.
Bimbette #1: I mean, they both have children, and they’ve both been in prison.
Bimbette #2: See that?!
–155th & Broadway
Boyfriend, looking at body pillow: Aw, man! I should totally get this!
Girlfriend: Why would you get that? We’re moving in together in like a year. We’ll be sharing a bed with each other.
Boyfriend: Yeah, but I can do things to this pillow that I can’t do to you!
–Target, Queens Center Mall
