God Squad lady: Jesus is coming! Jesus is coming!
Girl: Well, is he going to be getting off the S train? ‘Cause I’ll just meet him there.
–Port Authority
God Squad lady: Jesus is coming! Jesus is coming!
Girl: Well, is he going to be getting off the S train? ‘Cause I’ll just meet him there.
–Port Authority
Guy: Motherfucker of God!
Chick: That would be Joseph.
–60th & Broadway
Overheard by: James Wolf
Guy #1: What, you got a problem with me cursing?
Guy #2: Nah, nah, it’s just that, you know, sayin’ “holy fuck” is like talkin ’bout Jesus’s mom fuckin’ his dad and it’s not cool to talk about Jesus’s mom fuckin’ people.
Guy #1: Dumbass, Jesus’s mom didn’t fuck anyone. She was a fuckin’ virgin. How do I know this and you don’t? You’re the Christian.
Guy #2: What are you talkin’ ’bout? How could Jesus have been born if his mom hadn’t screwed his dad? Wait, who was Jesus’s dad again?
Guy #1: Dude, are you serious?
–F train
Girl #1: There are like, so many orthodox Jews at the law school. Why would they come to a Jesuit school if they’re orthodox Jews?
Girl #2: Well, it’s not like everyone else is Catholic.
Girl #1: But Jews are like the opposite of Catholics, they’re, like, not even close.
Girl #2: You’re a slut; that’s not very Catholic.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: IDigGraves94
Teen girl: …You know they didn’t have guns back then…But if they did, Jesus would have shot them niggas.
–Williamsburg
Crazy guy: Only God lives forever! You do not understand!
Drunk girl: Sir, would you like a balloon?
Crazy guy: Those balloons are beautiful. You keep them…Only God lives forever! You white people do not understand!
–N train
Overheard by: Lee
Guy #1: What can I say? I’m a sucker for orphan stories.
Guy #2: Or something.
Guy #1: Think about it: I loved Lemony Snicket, Party of Five, Diff’rent Strokes, Star Wars.
Guy #2: Yeah. Wait. Luke wasn’t an orphan.
Guy #1: Well, he sort of was, spiritually.
–34th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: cityhick
HS girl #1: I saw on TV last night they were saying how you can bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Uh, how dead?
HS girl #1: Like Hitler…
HS girl #3: That’s crazy. I read the Bible. You can not bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Fool, they brought Jesus back from the dead.
–Health Opportunities High School, South Bronx
God Squad man: Jesus saves! Books $1 only.
Guy: Fuck Jesus.
God Squad man: Fuck your mother…and your father. Jesus saves people. Books, $1.
–34th Street B/D/F/V/N/Q/R/W station
Overheard by: j-mo
God Squad lady: Lord, help me. I don’t know which way to turn.
Guy: Turn left.
–Penn Station
