Teacher: I may kill you anyway because of that whole desperado thing.
Student: I don’t even know what desperadoes are. I just said it because you don’t like them!
Teacher: That’s reason enough.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Liz
Teacher: I may kill you anyway because of that whole desperado thing.
Student: I don’t even know what desperadoes are. I just said it because you don’t like them!
Teacher: That’s reason enough.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Liz
Teacher: How come the people in Australia don’t fall off the bottom of the Earth?
First grade girl: Super Glue!
First grade boy: Because they have their shoes on!
–P.S. 86, Bronx
Overheard by: Wendy
Girl #1: I don’t know what I’m going to do next year. I really want to study abroad.
Girl #2: Yeah, I’m going to this gallery in Queens next week.
–NYU elevator
Overheard by: Alex Pareene
Princess #1: I had to run to the cafeteria and get fro-yo because my stomach was growling in class! How embarrassing is that?
Princess #2: Oh my god. That is my worst nightmare.
–Fordham University Rose Hill
Overheard by: stine
College boy #1: Did you see the camel toe on her? It was like her vagina was hungry or something.
College boy #2: Yeah, she had a ravenous vagina.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Brooklyn Julie
Student #1: Mister, what are some jobs I could look into if I got a Math major?
Teacher: Oh, there’s lots of options! You could be an engineer… an accountant…
Student #2: … A wizard…
–Stuyvesant High School
Art teacher: Now you are true students of FIT! Nobody listens to directions!
–FIT
English teacher: I tell her I can’t come to bed because I’m working. So basically, the definition [of a Penolopean web] is doing something to avoid doing something you don’t want to do.
Kid: Are you saying you’d rather plan our lessons than have sex with your wife?
English teacher: [Leaves the room.]
–LaGuardia High
Overheard by: ToMuchInfo
Loud girl #1: I don’t wanna go, what if I cheat on my boyfriend?
Loud girl #2: Whatever, he won’t care. He’s fat, he’ll get over it.
–Outside Pace University
Overheard by: Aaron
White girl: Ohmigod, I totally want to take stripping lessons! But, I'm not, like, a slut or anything.
Black girl: Wait, wait. You're not a slut but you want to be a stripper?
White girl: What? I bet it's really good exercise!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
