Professor lady: What is your favorite fruit?
Girl #1: J’aime manger les pommes.
Girl #2: Isn’t the rule if it grows underground it’s a vegetable?
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Professor lady: What is your favorite fruit?
Girl #1: J’aime manger les pommes.
Girl #2: Isn’t the rule if it grows underground it’s a vegetable?
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!
–8th Ave & W 55th St
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.
–Uptown 6 train
Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.
–NYU
Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds
Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?
–43rd & Lex
Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.
–Washington Heights
Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!
–115th St & Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Melissa Berry
Small Canadian mimicking fat kid: You run funny.
Fat kid: Shut up or I’ll eat you. I eat Canadians for breakfast.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
Student, explaining a baby carrier he made: In order to make sure it would hold the weight of a baby, I tested it with an Absolut vodka bottle.
Professor: You should have brought that in too. I think I have tonic in my bag.
–Parsons School of Design
Overheard by: dontyouloveartschool
Girl: What are you eating?
Guy: I don’t know, I was just like, “Put whatever you want on bread.”
–Columbia University
Overheard by: helena vozhd
Girl #1: You know what would be awesome?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: If rabbits laid chocolate Easter eggs.
Girl #2: Yeah, but then their entire species would, like, fail.
Girl #1: Yes, but they would fail deliciously.
–Bard High School Early College
Grade school girl #1: Why are you so upset?
Grade school girl #2: People at school think I like three boys! Do you know what that does to my reputation?!
–Outside the elementary school, 76th St
Teen girl #1: Do you ever talk to your eggs?
Teen girl #2: Like, fridge eggs or baby eggs?
Teen girl #1: Baby eggs.
Teen girl #2: No?
Teen girl #1: Well, I do. I mean, they might be a baby eventually!
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
English teacher: Class, I’d like you to remember where the line is. It is always moving, and it is determined by me.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: HJWC
English teacher: I rose up into the air and flew out the window… You didn’t notice this?
–Hunter College High
Overheard by: stupid english student
Old teacher: Okay, there are three rules in this classroom, and I am completely serious. Number one, no swearing. Number two, no scuffles. Number three, no sex until 3:20 when you can do what you want.
–Grace Church School
Teacher: I’m a huge fan of bathroom stall graffiti! My favorite from this school is in the third floor bathroom: ‘If you can read this, you are pooping.’
–Bard High School Early College
Teacher to another: You are a hemorrhoid in my ass.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Health teacher: Drug abuse is a symptom of suicide.
–Hunter College High
English teacher: The next scene is about sex, so pay attention. You might learn something.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Undergrad: Ninjas, see. You can’t creep up on them. You can’t creep up on them because actually they’re creeping up on you. And the person you’re creeping up on is actually a mendicant.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: pumpkin
Teen girl to friend: No one knows about Staten Island. It’s like the ninja island.
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Young lady suit on cell: Want to know what I learned today? Okay, you know how I really hate those rolling briefcases because they fucking ninja you while you’re walking? Well, today I learned that it’s really hard to be angry about a rolling briefcase when it’s being pulled by a genuine midget. It’s like watching a pony pull a cart. It’s adorable!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: she wasn’t too tall herself…
Geeky girl: They should really make a video game about a ninja doing the dishes. That shit would be dope.
–Flatiron District
