Guy who just got empty seat: My day just went from good to great!
Tourist lady: Oh? Why was it good?
Guy: I got to hug my therapist and talk about bogus relationships.
Tourist lady: [Stunned silence.]Guy: TMI?
Tourist lady: Ummm, yes [giggles nervously and turns away].
–6 train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Christine
Tourist kid: Look! The Empire State Building!
Tourist mom: Where? I don’t see it.
tourist kid: The big, pointy one!
Tourist mom: Oooh, let’s take a picture!
Passerby: That’s the Chrysler Building, you fucking niggers.
–Outside NYC Public Library
Overheard by: johnny salami
Tourist chick, in front of Jackson Pollock painting: What does it mean?
Friend: I want that color on my wedding cake.
–MoMA
Sales girl: Oh, we only have wrapping paper for cashmere items.
Tourist lady buying wallets: You mean I’m going to have to wrap these myself? Like a normal person?
–Marc by Marc Jacobs
10-year-old boy tourist: When are we going to eat?!
Teen brother: Shut up!
10-year-old boy tourist: I don’t have to shut up! I’m in New York!
–57th & 6th
Overheard by: Rick
Tourist #1: It was pretty cold, I remember… It was in January, right?
Tourist #2: It was September, you moron! September 11th!
–Ground Zero
Confused tourist driver, after traffic cop blocks left turn: But I don’t know this way. Where am I supposed to turn?
Traffic cop: What the hell do I care? You figure it out!
–Church & Duane
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Tourist dad with family, bumping into another tourist family: Excuse us! Thank you!
Other family’s tourist dad: Ugh! Rude New Yorkers!
Nearby cop, to both: You do realize you’re both tourists, right?
–48th & 5th
Overheard by: dan.j.w.
Lost tourist: Excuse me, can you tell how to get to 38th Street?
Guy passing out Metro: 38th Street? Sure. Here, take one of these [gives him a copy of Metro]. Now just keep walking that way [points towards Fifth Avenue].
Lost tourist: Hey! Thanks!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: would’ve lied also
Tourist: Are you shooting a movie? Is that what all this is for?
Production assistant: Yes.
Tourist: Which movie? Is it a new one? Who’s in it?
Production assistant: It’s a new Adam Sandler movie. It’s called–
Tourist: –Oh. Never mind. [Walks away.]
–Columbus Circle entrance to Central Park
Overheard by: Sweaty running boy
