Southern man: Well hon, maybe you should buy both; keep the large one and find someone to give the small one to.
Southern woman: Hmm, who do I know that needs a Statue of Liberty?
–Broadway & Canal
Southern man: Well hon, maybe you should buy both; keep the large one and find someone to give the small one to.
Southern woman: Hmm, who do I know that needs a Statue of Liberty?
–Broadway & Canal
Tourist teen girl: I hope we see one of the Olsen twins.
Tourist mom: Oh, they were so cute on that show.
Man: Those kids were disgusting. They weren’t cute. They were hideous. They should have put bags over their heads. You know who is a cute baby? Stewie Griffin. You know, from The Family Guy? He wants to kill his mother and take over the world.
Tourist mom: Okay, thanks!
–W Train
Overheard by: Ubiquitous Attorney
Vendor guy: I got so much dirt under my nails, you’d think I was a crackhead.
–Fulton Mall
Overheard by: Black Girl Superstar
Tourist girl #1: Stop acting like a tourist!
Tourist girl #2: But I am a tourist!
Tourist girl #1: But it’s embarrassing.
Tourist girl #2: If you’re embarrassed over what a ton of people you’ve never seen before and never will see again think, you’re never going to have any fun. Tourists are allowed to act like dorks.
Tourist girl #1: Then why do you make fun of tourists in Boston?
–Doubletree Metropolitan Hotel, Lexington Avenue
Tourist lady #1: Is this it?
Tourist lady #2: I think this is it.
Tourist lady #1: You’d think they’d have signs or something.
Tourist lady #2: Yeah, this must be it, though.
–Times Square
Tourist lady #1: Sweeney Todd…I heard that’s a spoof on a cooking show.
Tourist lady #2: Oh, is it about Julia Child?
Tourist lady #1: I think so.
–49th between Broadway & 8th
Guy: Don’t ever give up your dreams. This is New York. It’s not even about the numbers. I’ve come too far to give up my dreams. Don’t give up your dreams…So Canal Street is this way?
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Esther
Tourist lady: Excuse me, how do I get to Battery Park?
MTA guy #1: Uh, Battery Park?
Tourist lady: Yes, Battery Park.
MTA guy #1: Hmm, Battery Park. Battery Park. Yo, Battery Park? From here?
MTA guy #2: Battery Park?
Tourist lady: Is this a union joke?
–Times Square station
Overheard by: G-Lock
Vendor guy: Just buy it! Come on…
Tourist guy: Chill out, we’re thinking.
Vendor guy: All right, all right. Half price? All right? Half price, now will ya just buy it?
Tourist guy: Half? How come?
Vendor guy: Because it’s fucking 30 degrees, man, it’s cold, I wanna
go home! Buy it!
–Whitehall & State
Dude: You’re not from New York, are you?
Chick: No, I’m not.
Dude: Thought not. You’re too nice.
Chick: That’s the second time I’ve heard that today.
–82nd & Columbus
Overheard by: Kevin Eliasen
