Old lady: Excuse me, where is the exit?
Cop: Just follow the signs.
Old lady: I’m following the signs and I don’t know where I’m going.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: So K
Old lady: Excuse me, where is the exit?
Cop: Just follow the signs.
Old lady: I’m following the signs and I don’t know where I’m going.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: So K
Tourist dude: What’s a…knish?
Tourist chick: I think it’s like…a Hot Pocket?
–42nd & Park
Overheard by: JayBee
Tourist lady #1: Excuse me, can you tell us how to get to the corner of Madison and Park?
Man: No such place. See, those streets run–
Tourist lady #2: Oh, he doesn’t know. We just came from there, so let’s just go back the way we came.
–34th & Park
Overheard by: Manhattman
Worker guy: We’re going to try to get the line moving quicker. Anyone who is in a group of 2 or more people, have 1 person stand in line and buy tickets. The other members of your group can go to a waiting area and you can meet them there.
Tourist guy: But what if all 3 of us want to go up to the top?
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Tra
Tourist guy #1: What’s going on?
Tourist guy #2: Apparently someone is a motherfucker.
–42nd & 7th
Southern man: Well hon, maybe you should buy both; keep the large one and find someone to give the small one to.
Southern woman: Hmm, who do I know that needs a Statue of Liberty?
–Broadway & Canal
Tourist teen girl: I hope we see one of the Olsen twins.
Tourist mom: Oh, they were so cute on that show.
Man: Those kids were disgusting. They weren’t cute. They were hideous. They should have put bags over their heads. You know who is a cute baby? Stewie Griffin. You know, from The Family Guy? He wants to kill his mother and take over the world.
Tourist mom: Okay, thanks!
–W Train
Overheard by: Ubiquitous Attorney
Vendor guy: I got so much dirt under my nails, you’d think I was a crackhead.
–Fulton Mall
Overheard by: Black Girl Superstar
Tourist girl #1: Stop acting like a tourist!
Tourist girl #2: But I am a tourist!
Tourist girl #1: But it’s embarrassing.
Tourist girl #2: If you’re embarrassed over what a ton of people you’ve never seen before and never will see again think, you’re never going to have any fun. Tourists are allowed to act like dorks.
Tourist girl #1: Then why do you make fun of tourists in Boston?
–Doubletree Metropolitan Hotel, Lexington Avenue
Tourist lady #1: Is this it?
Tourist lady #2: I think this is it.
Tourist lady #1: You’d think they’d have signs or something.
Tourist lady #2: Yeah, this must be it, though.
–Times Square
