Bimbette #1: I got the hottest shoes. They’re like Burberry, but cuter, with sexy heels. Zimbabwe likes them.
Bimbette #2: His name is Zimbabwe?
Bimbette #1: Well, no one can pronounce it. It starts with a ‘K,’ but I think it sounds retarded, so I’d rather call him Zimbabwe.
–66th & 3rd
Hardhat #1 with pavement-smoothing machine: It won’t start.
Hardhat #2: I tell ya, if it’s got tits or wheels, it’s gonna give ya problems.
–75th & 3rd
Overheard by: Mo
Stoner #1: We’re married now.
Hoochie: We are?
Stoner #1: Yeah. We just met a sea captain, and he married us.
Stoner #2: Oh, Ahab?
–89th & York
Man sitting outside building: Hey, Angelo! You know why I sit over here?
Bored doorman: Why?
Man: You can see those midgets straight through there gettin’ in and out of that box! They do things you wouldn’t believe! Outfits and everything!
–77th St, between Lex & 3rd Ave
Headline by: nick
Runners-Up:
· “Count Me In!” – Lalaith
· “And with a Little Peanut Butter, You Can Get Them to Lick You anywhere.” – Jeff P
· “Dude, That’s a Fucking Playground” – s h
· “Like Babies but Cuter!” – Tellulah
· “Otis Gets Cable” – D. Kareem
· “That Box? Lindsay Lohan.” – sweetchuck
Biotech: Like, the only reason I like living in Brooklyn is because everyone’s a mess, so it makes me so feel normal, you know?
Friend: Yeah.
–E 77th, between 2nd & 3rd
Young woman: I drink a tea for that.
Middle-aged yenta: Does it make you poop? I should drink some of that.
Young woman: You couldn’t handle it.
Middle-aged yenta: Is it that bad?
Young woman: No, you just don’t know when to expect it. It could come at any time.
–86th & Lex
Overheard by: Heather
Frat boy #1: Dude, you got really skinny. What’s going on with you? Are you sick or something?
Frat boy #2: Yeah, bro, I have IBS — Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Frat boy #1: You shittin’ me!
–91st & 1st
Overheard by: AZS
10-year-old boy #1: So, I’ll beat up the boys, and you beat up the girls.
10-year-old boy #2: Yeah! I love hitting girls!
–78th & 4th, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Becka
Seventh grader #1: When you get a Brazilian wax they wax in your butt, too!
Seventh grader #2: I don’t think I have hair in my butt.
Seventh grader #3: Actually, one time in sixth grade you bent over and I saw it.
–Locker room, Asphalt Green, 90th & York
Hoochie #1: He was so drunk he just pushed my legs together and started humping them.
Hoochie #2: How did that work? Wasn’t it dry?
Hoochie #1: He was sweating so much it acted like lube!
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Peter
