JAP halting mid-stride: Wait a sec… Why are my pants wet?!
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: my boyfriend is a grizzly bear
Headline by: John
Runners-Up:
· “And Who Dropped That Baby?” – trade800
· “Bob the Urinating Hobo Ninja Strikes Again” – Darryl S.
· “Did A Bag Of Money Just Walk By?” – Jolly
· “The Joys Of Unknown Pregnancy Coming Full Term” – The Lazy Canadian
· “This Eventually Happens to Every New Yorker” – Dagre
· “Was Too Busy Shopping to Be Toilet Trained” – G
Student, looking at clock: It’s time to go, Mr. T.
Teacher, slowly and loudly: It’s time for you to die.
–E 68th St
Stoner: She did coke, like, six times last week and was bleeding out of her nose.
Black girl: Ahhh, I love her.
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: yoni
Dude #1: Dude, that girl is looking at you like a fat girl looks at cake.
Dude #2: She is a fat girl.
Dude #1: Fine. She is looking at you like you are cake.
–UES
Smoker girl: We should do a wine power-hour tonight.
Friend: A wine power-hour is a bad idea. I lost my virginity after a wine power-ten minutes.
–83rd & 1st
Overheard by: M.J.
11-year-old boy smiling mischievously: Mom, I’ve been desiring a lot lately.
Frazzled UES mom: Would you please stop doing that?
–80th & York
Overheard by: Nicole
Bimbette #1: I got the hottest shoes. They’re like Burberry, but cuter, with sexy heels. Zimbabwe likes them.
Bimbette #2: His name is Zimbabwe?
Bimbette #1: Well, no one can pronounce it. It starts with a ‘K,’ but I think it sounds retarded, so I’d rather call him Zimbabwe.
–66th & 3rd
Hardhat #1 with pavement-smoothing machine: It won’t start.
Hardhat #2: I tell ya, if it’s got tits or wheels, it’s gonna give ya problems.
–75th & 3rd
Overheard by: Mo
Stoner #1: We’re married now.
Hoochie: We are?
Stoner #1: Yeah. We just met a sea captain, and he married us.
Stoner #2: Oh, Ahab?
–89th & York
Man sitting outside building: Hey, Angelo! You know why I sit over here?
Bored doorman: Why?
Man: You can see those midgets straight through there gettin’ in and out of that box! They do things you wouldn’t believe! Outfits and everything!
–77th St, between Lex & 3rd Ave
Headline by: nick
Runners-Up:
· “Count Me In!” – Lalaith
· “And with a Little Peanut Butter, You Can Get Them to Lick You anywhere.” – Jeff P
· “Dude, That’s a Fucking Playground” – s h
· “Like Babies but Cuter!” – Tellulah
· “Otis Gets Cable” – D. Kareem
· “That Box? Lindsay Lohan.” – sweetchuck
