Blonde: Wait, are you Jewish?
Brunette: No. I’m Colombian.
–96th & 5th
Blonde: Wait, are you Jewish?
Brunette: No. I’m Colombian.
–96th & 5th
Girl #1: So, I just met this guy… And we, like, totally connected! I mean, I could tell him everything, and it felt like we belonged together, you know?
Girl #2: Dude… You’re 14 — you’re not supposed to find a guy that’s husband material! Get a grip! By the way, what’s his name?
Girl #1: [Silence.]
–UES
Overheard by: Lina
Stranger guy: Sooo, you guys on a first date?
Girl, whose date just headed for the restroom: No.
Stranger guy: Good. It did not feel like one.
–83rd & 3rd
Older woman: What’s the time, dear?
Teen girl: Two o’clock.
Old woman: Are you sure? It looks dark outside.
Teen girl, annoyed: Yes, I’m sure.
Man, overhearing: Actually, I think it’s seven P.M.
Teen girl: Oh, right. I forgot we set the clocks back this weekend.
–86th & Lex
Overheard by: Arun
Little boy: She’s just a freakin’ cheater. That’s all!
Old lady: Don’t call your mother that.
–79th & 2nd
Black chick: What kind of soup do you got?
Chinese deli guy: Uhhh, we got some chicken noodle soup.
Black chick: Oh, just chicken noodle soup?
Chinese deli guy, singing and dancing: With a soda on the side! [Black chick glares at him in silence.] Uhhh, yeah, that’s all.
Black chick: That’s fuckin’ ign’ant, man.
–106th & 2nd
Bimbette #1: Chris got a lab-a-doodle.
Bimbette #2: What’s that?
Bimbette #1: It’s a cross between a Labrador and a doodle.
–Lexington Ave, between 61st & 62nd St
Overheard by: The New York Crank
Tourista #1, about street sign with large bend in middle: Why does the Gershwin Way sign have a curve in it like that?
Tourista #2: I think it’s to symbolize Gershwin’s music.
New Yorker passerby: A truck backed into it, ya stupid bitches.
–NW corner, E 50 St & Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
JAP halting mid-stride: Wait a sec… Why are my pants wet?!
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: my boyfriend is a grizzly bear
Headline by: John
Runners-Up:
· “And Who Dropped That Baby?” – trade800
· “Bob the Urinating Hobo Ninja Strikes Again” – Darryl S.
· “Did A Bag Of Money Just Walk By?” – Jolly
· “The Joys Of Unknown Pregnancy Coming Full Term” – The Lazy Canadian
· “This Eventually Happens to Every New Yorker” – Dagre
· “Was Too Busy Shopping to Be Toilet Trained” – G
Student, looking at clock: It’s time to go, Mr. T.
Teacher, slowly and loudly: It’s time for you to die.
–E 68th St
