Sleazy guy: I love going to my dentist, the new one. The hygienist holds my hand while they’re giving me a shot. She talks to me. She pets me like a chinchilla. It’s fantastic.
–Elevator, 360 Park Avenue South
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Old man with pet lizard: Thirty-four years ago we got married. She had dental coverage. It’s very easy to find a girl with medical coverage… Dental, not so easy.
–77th St & 37th Ave, Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Gail Montemayor
Blonde tween: they usually take out 2 teeth before they put on the braces. They took 4 of mine. It felt great! I wanted ’em to take all of mine and be all gums.
–D Train
Overheard by: Going to keep those wisdom teeth a bit longer
Girl on cell: So I was able to brush my teeth without feeling like I was going to puke.
–77th and 2nd
Cleaning woman on cell phone: She is a butterface. You know, everything’s lookin’ good but her face. Her body is nice, but she has some ugly-ass, skanky ass face. I told her she ain’t gonna get no man without any teeth in her face. I told her she’s gotta get some nice grilles put all up in there.
–Atlantic Mall
Overheard by: jsillyfun
Ghetto girl spouting knowledge to friend: Sometimes, you just gotta bite your teeth, and turn the other head…
–4 train
Guy on acid: I can’t get the taste of teeth out of my mouth!
–Riverside Park
Overheard by: LSB
