Married man at party: They went after my nipples!


Overheard by: Salazar

Young gay man: Whereas, lacking the virtue of shoes, men must content themselves with being jerks.
Female friend: A poor consolation, and unfashionable.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Bethany

Teenage ghetto boy: That'd be great, man, if everyone died … They'd be gone, and we could take all their cars!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Little girl trying on boots: Mom, can I get them?
Mom: Yes, but you have to take them off.
Little girl: Will you help me?
Mom: No, if you don't know how to take your own shoes off by now, I've done something very wrong.
Little girl, in low voice, taking boots off: …you have.

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Rachel

Guy: Obviously, you've never been to Singapore.
Girl: Obviously, you've never pleased a woman.

Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: bethany

Little girl to mother: I always get weirded out when we come to Asian markets.
Mom: Why is that?
Little girl: Because there are so many Asian people in one place!
Mom: Why is that weird?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Koley

Chick: … But it’s only about the size of a strawberry.
Dude: And all I’m saying is that a strategically placed strawberry can exert a surprising amount of pressure.
Random passerby: Right on!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: snickerpants

Smelly drunk in silent library room: You don't work for me? Man, no one knows that they work for me!

Public Library
Seattle, Washington

Drugstore cashier to another: Are the firemen here to shop? Or is someone down again?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: jamjam

Teenage boy to teenage girl: I have a bigger penis than you.

Seattle, Washington