Wednesday One-Liners Are Pelving Thrusting in Your Direction

Woman to friend: I woke up, and he was fucking my ear! Fucking my ear! Fuck. Ing. My. Ear!

–Walker & Canal

Overheard by: office peon

Girl on cell: So yeah, he just kinda turned to her, handed her some napkins and told her to prepare herself for a good fingering.

–New Jersey Transit

Girl in school hallway: Nasty little tenth graders having sex in the stairwells…

–Bard High School Early College

Guy to another: There's only three things people need in this world. Sex. Food. (pause) Yeah, okay, that's it.

–125th & Lexington

Student #1: (makes elaborate point with with ample hand gesticulation)
Student #2: Oh wow. You just made love to me with words.

–113th & Broadway

Crazy lady: Santa ain't comin' to Brooklyn! And I'll be drunk tomorrow, don't you ring my bell! (gets off train and leaves bag. 20-something guy gives it to her) Have we had sex before!? We should have sex! I like you! (doors start closing) We should really have sex!

–C Train