Conductor on train: Ladies and gentlemen, if you see the person who is annoyingly pressing the buzzer please direct him to a conductor so they can be arrested and we can all go home.
–Metro North Train
Overheard by: Allison
Hobo: Now you're going to give me a quarter sir, and then I'm going to arrest you.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Eric
Guy on cell: Mike is getting his crazy ass released? For real? (pause) He's paying taxes?! Thug!
–M Train
Teenybopper: I'm going to jail tonight, I don't care. I'm gonna fuckin' kill that bitch!
–30th b/w 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: eavesdropper
Prospective employee to another: I can't believe she tells me how to fill out the fingerprint card! I've been done hauled to the precinct so many times…
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Ghetto mama: Why somebody call me from prison gotta be my husband? Hell no, that nigga is past tense!
–54 Bus
