Wednesday One-Liners Have More Stomachs Than a Cow

Teen boy: I like touching fat people.

–69th St & 5th Ave, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: Jon A.

Guy to friends: So I was on the subway the other day and I was counting some guys’ chins and I realized, I’m just not a nice person.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: CUMT

Large black woman on cell: Of course I’m loud, I’m fat!

–25th & 8th

Overheard by: Beckerman

Chick to guy: I’m thinking of keeping it, as an excuse to get fat.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Ladle

30-something with heavy NYC accent: Ya know, if I had to do high school all over again, I woulda fucked a fat chick. I wouldna cared so much.

–34th & 5th

Man yelling on cell: I would be so much better at Jeopardy then her! Her fat Indian hands can’t hit the button as fast as I can!

–35rd St & 5th Ave

Female house manager: He comes over and he’s like: "What are you doing?" and I said: "My job." and he goes: "You’re fat."

–Theater, St Mark’s Place

Overheard by: Mariah