Chick: Like, last semester I totally put out and I got an A.
Dude: Like, a straight A?
Chick: Yeah. But this semester I’m just too tired to put out, and I just got a B on that paper.
Dude: Rough.
–Columbia University
Chick: Like, last semester I totally put out and I got an A.
Dude: Like, a straight A?
Chick: Yeah. But this semester I’m just too tired to put out, and I just got a B on that paper.
Dude: Rough.
–Columbia University
Girl #1: She’s, like, totally forgotten that there are different kinds of penis.
Girl #2: I know, it’s like she thinks there’s just one penis.
–115th & Broadway
Chick #1: You can’t, like, wear all black.
Chick #2: Well, not unless you’re a beatnik.
Chick #1: What’s that?
Chick #2: You know, the guys who wear berets and play the bongos?
Chick #1: Like the French?
Chick #2: [Nods.]Chick #1: Who knew they had bongos in France?!
–Manhattan-bound 7 train
Overheard by: Smarter than these two
Study group girl #1: I totally had no idea that hepatitis had anything to do with your liver.
Study group girl #2: Oh, I know! I thought it was just a disease. You know, like AIDS.
–Hormann Library, Wagner College, Staten Island
Bimbette: So, where you going for winter break?
Idiot dude: Switzerland.
Bimbette: Oh, cool, cool… What do they speak there, again?
Idiot dude: I dunno…
Bimbette: Hmmm… Dutch?
Idiot dude: Yeah, yeah, Dutch!
–78th St, between Park & Madison
Overheard by: dont speak ever again
Bimbette #1: Oh my god, shamans are, like, so in right now!
Bimbette #2: Really?!
Bimbette #1: Yeah! Like, every day I wake up and it’s like, shaman-this and shaman-that.
–50th & 6th
High school girl #1: Imagine posing for all of these artists.
High school girl #2: Yeah, but you’d be standing around naked all of the time.
High school girl #1: You probably didn’t have to be entirely naked.
–Vollard exhibit, the Met
Bimbette #1: My school doesn’t give out our grades ’til three days after the semester.
Bimbette #2: Wow! My school sucks. We have to wait 72 hours.
–Manhattan-bound N train from Brooklyn
Overheard by: Steve
Woman to friend: It just wasn’t what they imagined when they dreamed of going to jail.
–5th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: MK
LA bimbette to another: I think, like, everyone I know has been arrested. I mean, like, who hasn’t been charged with a drunk and disorderly at least once?
–R train
Chick to friend: Yeah, he got a lot of gold chains, but that’s an investment… That’s bail.
–Bus, Port Authority
Guy leaving subway: Hey, baby, I’m home! One more day and I’m not in jail!
–Subway entrance, 125th St
Overheard by: Leaving Harlem
Teen thug: Man, I never had to spend Valentine’s Day with my mom… If her boyfriend wasn’t in jail she wouldn’t be bothering me.
–Eastern Pkwy Library
Chick to boyfriend: So, that’s what you learned in prison?
–Central Park
Chick #1 reading can: ‘Pineapple chunks in its own juices.’ Ewww.
Chick #2: Hey, at least it doesn’t say ‘Pineapple chunks in his own juices.’
Chick #1: Why would it say that?!
–D’Agostinos, 78th & York
