Girl #1: So, I met a boy this weekend who isn’t an asshole drug dealer, for a change.
Girl #2: But he’s a drug dealer?
Girl #1: Who isn’t?
Girl #2: Um… me?
Girl #1: No. He’s not a drug dealer.
Girl #2: Oh! I thought you meant he’s a drug dealer, just not an asshole one.
–23rd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Jackattack
Bench girl #1: So, do you guys go to church for Christmas?
Bench girl #2: Nah, my family’s Jewish.
Bench girl #1: … So do you go to temple to celebrate Christmas?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Doug
Yuppie chick #1: I don’t know. I just, like, totally like, never ever saw, like, a kid with Down Syndrome before.
Yuppie chick #2: Oh, me neither!
Yuppie chick #1: It was totally, like, not awesome.
–Rising escalator in the Mall
Girl #1: Wow, did you know that you get, like, eight thousand dollars when you donate your eggs?
Girl #2: I am so doing that. I would buy a Fendi Spy Bag.
–Movie theater, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Lia
Teen girl #1: I didn’t know Where’s Waldo? could be considered a controversial book.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, because, like… some people can’t find him.
–Port Authority
Hippie chick: They don’t use dryers in that country. I hung them outside.
Ditzy chick yelling over traffic: You what them?!
Hippie chick: Hung… Hung… Like a penis.
Ditzy chick: How do you hang a penis?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kelly
Tipsy 15-year-old girl #1: … And then they gave her a breathalizer, and my mom said I couldn’t drink ’til ninth grade!
Tipsy 15-year-old girl #2: My brother got a breathalizer!
Tipsy 15-year-old girl #3: I want a breathalizer.
Tipsy 15-year-old girl #1: Why?
Tipsy 15-year-old girl #3: To play with!
–Indian restaurant, 6th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Ohmygodstopservingthem
Bimbette: I think Sandy* has dyslexia.
Friend: How do you know? You’re not in any of her classes.
Bimbette: I know, but she’s just so skinny.
–Madison Ave
Teen chick #1: So, like, how come you always hear about how they do tests and stuff to find out who babies’ dads are, but you never hear about dads checking who the mother is?
Teen chick #2: I guess the dads just never care that much.
–F train
Overheard by: please stop talking
Girl: I went to this awesome Italian restaurant last night.
Boy: Oh, yeah? What did you have?
Girl: This thing called ‘Prophylactic.’
Boy: That’s ‘Profiterole,’ you dumbass.
–20th St & 5th Ave
