Guy: Do you think Jim’s cute?
Girl: He looks like a baby.
Guy: Like an isosceles baby.
Girl: His head is made of polygons.
–Metropolitan & Lorimer
Overheard by: Olga
Guy: Do you think Jim’s cute?
Girl: He looks like a baby.
Guy: Like an isosceles baby.
Girl: His head is made of polygons.
–Metropolitan & Lorimer
Overheard by: Olga
Pratt girl: I didn’t know you could think with your name being ethnic and all.
Ethnic chick: Whaaa?
Future Picasso: Her name’s Jewish.
–Classon & Willoughby Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Glad I Didn’t Go To Art School
Old man, with wife: How much is it to Elmont Cemetery?
Car service dispatcher: Will that be one way, or round-trip?
–E 19th St & Ave U, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Arthur
Yankee: You’re from North Carolina? What is there to do in North Carolina, anyway?
Tourist: Oh, we tip over cows and lynch niggers.
–Havemeyer & Grand, Brooklyn
Overheard by: A Provincial New Yorker
Man to waiter making tea: Hey, you know how many Mexicans it takes to make iced tea? None! Because you’re not Mexican! Ha!
Waiter: Why would you say that? I am Mexican.
–Mike’s Café, Brooklyn
Hipster guy: Yeah, it was like when I used to be a ninja, before I gave it up.
Hipster girl: Oh, I see.
–N 7th St, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mary C.
Girl: Yeah, the room in the apartment is only four hundred bucks a month.
Guy: No way! No place in the city is only four hundred a month. You probably have to shit in the bathtub.
–Bainbridge & Malcolm X, Brooklyn
Office drone #1: Yo, what ya got in there? That’s Mozart, right?
Office drone #2: No, man, it’s Beethoven! You got a problem with that?
–9 MetroTech Center
Overheard by: Cap’n MidNite
Subway entrepreneur: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the interruption. I am homeless and in need of your assistance. If you cannot give, I will not make you feel bad. I will accept anything you can give. [Continues for five minutes, ignored.] Ain’t nobody gonna give? Y’all just a bunch of cheap-ass motherfuckers! [Disembarks.]Sincere child: I thought he said he wouldn’t make us feel bad.
–Myrtle Ave stop
Overheard by: Confused Commuter
Woman in sweats: I liked playing Scrabble with her… She killed her daughter with a hammer and a shovel.
Man in sweats: Yeah?
Woman in sweats: Well, she beat her first with the hammer and then the shovel.
Man in sweats: Huh.
–5th Ave & Prospect Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: dusdin
