Yankee: You’re from North Carolina? What is there to do in North Carolina, anyway?
Tourist: Oh, we tip over cows and lynch niggers.
–Havemeyer & Grand, Brooklyn
Overheard by: A Provincial New Yorker
Yankee: You’re from North Carolina? What is there to do in North Carolina, anyway?
Tourist: Oh, we tip over cows and lynch niggers.
–Havemeyer & Grand, Brooklyn
Overheard by: A Provincial New Yorker
Man to waiter making tea: Hey, you know how many Mexicans it takes to make iced tea? None! Because you’re not Mexican! Ha!
Waiter: Why would you say that? I am Mexican.
–Mike’s Café, Brooklyn
Hipster guy: Yeah, it was like when I used to be a ninja, before I gave it up.
Hipster girl: Oh, I see.
–N 7th St, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mary C.
Girl: Yeah, the room in the apartment is only four hundred bucks a month.
Guy: No way! No place in the city is only four hundred a month. You probably have to shit in the bathtub.
–Bainbridge & Malcolm X, Brooklyn
Office drone #1: Yo, what ya got in there? That’s Mozart, right?
Office drone #2: No, man, it’s Beethoven! You got a problem with that?
–9 MetroTech Center
Overheard by: Cap’n MidNite
Subway entrepreneur: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the interruption. I am homeless and in need of your assistance. If you cannot give, I will not make you feel bad. I will accept anything you can give. [Continues for five minutes, ignored.] Ain’t nobody gonna give? Y’all just a bunch of cheap-ass motherfuckers! [Disembarks.]Sincere child: I thought he said he wouldn’t make us feel bad.
–Myrtle Ave stop
Overheard by: Confused Commuter
Woman in sweats: I liked playing Scrabble with her… She killed her daughter with a hammer and a shovel.
Man in sweats: Yeah?
Woman in sweats: Well, she beat her first with the hammer and then the shovel.
Man in sweats: Huh.
–5th Ave & Prospect Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: dusdin
Puerto Rican girl: You know what my mother always says? ‘Jesus danced, Jesus drank, or else why would we make a wine out of him?’
Haitian guy: Amen! Hallelujah!
Black girl: Jesus wanted us to get down with it.
–Brooklyn College
Headline by: jason daniel
Runners-Up:
· “Resurrection Red, Walks on Water White, or Virgin Birth Blush?” – Fred
· “Shake This, For This Is My Booty” – Meredith
· “Suffer the Blunts and 40s to Come Unto Me” – likeitornot
· “What CAN’T That Nigga Do?” – Joeritos
· “Word. (of the Lord)” – Janet E
Little girl, looking at teen with glasses: Why do you wear glasses?
Little boy: Because she farts too much!
–Austin St, Forest Hills
Girl #1: I’m so glad we’re finally hanging out!
Girl #2: I’ve been drunk since two o’clock.
–BAM Opera House
Overheard by: It’s 8 o’clock now
