Man #1: It smells like feces in here.
Man #2: No, it doesn’t. It smells like a dead guy.
–Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: rebecca
Man #1: It smells like feces in here.
Man #2: No, it doesn’t. It smells like a dead guy.
–Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: rebecca
Young boy, pointing at stack of apple danishes: Mom! Mom! I wanna eat a danish!
Mom: Stanley, you can’t eat cheese, and you can’t eat apples. You know this.
Young boy, exasperated: I know! But I can eat danish!
–Washington Ave & Eastern Pkwy, Brooklyn
Overheard by: xander
Texting guy: Hey, I tried to type ‘nipple pasties,’ and the phone knew the word ‘pasties’!
Friend: … Why are you texting ‘nipple pasties’?
–Wyckoff & Stanhope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: smh
Eager Scientologist girl: Do you want to take a stress test?
Man carrying large package, with three kids in tow: I’ll never pass that test.
–Subway, Atlantic Ave
Overheard by: Simon Feil
Guy: Happy New Year’s, ladies!
Girl #1: Yeah, you too.
Guy: Your face is funny!
Girl #2: What? Fuck you!
Guy: I said, the face you made is funny!
Girl #2: Oh…
Guy: Butt-munch!
–Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint
Guy: Do you think Jim’s cute?
Girl: He looks like a baby.
Guy: Like an isosceles baby.
Girl: His head is made of polygons.
–Metropolitan & Lorimer
Overheard by: Olga
Pratt girl: I didn’t know you could think with your name being ethnic and all.
Ethnic chick: Whaaa?
Future Picasso: Her name’s Jewish.
–Classon & Willoughby Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Glad I Didn’t Go To Art School
Old man, with wife: How much is it to Elmont Cemetery?
Car service dispatcher: Will that be one way, or round-trip?
–E 19th St & Ave U, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Arthur
Yankee: You’re from North Carolina? What is there to do in North Carolina, anyway?
Tourist: Oh, we tip over cows and lynch niggers.
–Havemeyer & Grand, Brooklyn
Overheard by: A Provincial New Yorker
Man to waiter making tea: Hey, you know how many Mexicans it takes to make iced tea? None! Because you’re not Mexican! Ha!
Waiter: Why would you say that? I am Mexican.
–Mike’s Café, Brooklyn
