Man, about inflatable rat across street: Look! They got that giant rat outside them. Nobody wants that rat.
Woman: Shit. That rat will fuck you up.
–47th & 6th
Man, about inflatable rat across street: Look! They got that giant rat outside them. Nobody wants that rat.
Woman: Shit. That rat will fuck you up.
–47th & 6th
Wifey: There was another one! A dark-headed one with blonde hair!
Suit hubby: Wait… What?
–F train
Overheard by: Happy I’m not the Skunk Person
Chick: Please, please, please get these for me.
Guy: [Laughs, shakes his head.]Chick: I promise I’ll give it to you 10 times today.
Guy: I don’t need you to. I get it every day.
Chick: No, you don’t! You haven’t gotten it in a month!
–Sneaker store, 82nd & Roosevelt
Overheard by: Liza
Girlfriend: Great! My boyfriend doesn’t even know my last name.
Boyfriend: No, I do! It’s just…
–Lorimer & Metropolitan
Donation guy: You love animals, don’t you? [Shoves binder in woman’s face.]Tough guy, to girlfriend: I’ll knock him out if he comes at me like that.
Donation guy: You love animals, don’t you? [Shoves binder in tough guy’s face.]Tough guy: No, thank you, sir.
Girlfriend: You didn’t knock him out.
Tough guy: Yeah, I’m a pussy.
–14th & 5th, Park Slope
Overheard by: I Would Have Punched Him
Girl on first date: I love animals.
Guy on first date: I love animals, too, but I see a snake and I’ll shoot it in the face.
–Union Square
Girl on first date: Are you texting someone?
Guy on first date: No, I’m just playing Tetris.
Girl on first date: Okay… You know what? I gotta go, it’s getting late.
–Sushi bar
Dude: I’m sorry. I feel like I’m talking too much.
Chick: It’s okay — I like to hear you talk.
Dude: Well, I like to hear you listen.
–9th & 2nd
Drunk goth chick to couple making out: Public displays of affection cause cancer!
Man, taking a break: Really?
Drunk goth chick: No. Just jealousy.
–9th & 3rd
Boyfriend: I love Barnes and Noble.
Girlfriend: Yeah, I love books.
Boyfriend: Me, too. I just wish I liked reading.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Headline by: Tosser
Runners-Up:
· “As long as it gets the poo off my ass, I’m happy” – Jim C.
· “But I have a nice set of Hemingway coasters.” – Sarah K
· “But get enough of them together, you have one hell of a fort.” – DJR
· “I just like to judge them by their covers” – Peter
· “It’s goal number 2, right after learnig to color inside the lines” – kristen
