Old veteran: Have a Happy Father’s Day!
Dad: Happy Father’s Day to you, too.
Old veteran: Me? Oh no, not me. Well, maybe in Saigon.
–58th St & 37th Ave
Overheard by: Alvin Khaled
Old veteran: Have a Happy Father’s Day!
Dad: Happy Father’s Day to you, too.
Old veteran: Me? Oh no, not me. Well, maybe in Saigon.
–58th St & 37th Ave
Overheard by: Alvin Khaled
Kid: Daddy! Daddy! Can I give you a wedgie?
Father: If you do I won’t feed you for a week
Cashier laughs.
Father: At least he asked this time… Usually he just does it
–Walgreens, Manhattan
A little girl is climbing onto an outdoor table, reaching for an ashtray.
Mom: No honey, don’t touch that.
Dad: Yeah, that’s what killed grandma.
–Soda Bar, Brooklyn
Overheard by: this guy
Little boy: Dad, will you remember me tomorrow?
Dad: Of course.
Little boy: Will you remember me next week?
Dad: Yes.
Little boy: Next month?
Dad: Yup.
Little boy: Next year? Two years? Three years?
Dad. Yes, yes and yes.
Little boy: …Knock, knock.
Dad: Who’s there?
Little boy: Aw, man! You forgot me already!
–1 train
Overheard by: Kathleen
Tween girl: Why isn’t she smiling?
Mom: Honey, the French gave her to us. Smiling is an American thing.
Dad: Listen to your mother, she knows a lot.
–Circle Line
Dad: Did you bring your book?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Dad: Oh good; that way we don’t have to talk.
–Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Overheard by: Bethany Murphy
Guy #1: So my daughter saw me peeing the other day and says, “Daddy, what’s that?” And I say, “Penis.” And she’s like, “Peanuts?” And I’m like, “No, penis!” And she’s like, “Peanuts!” And I’m like,
“pe-nis!” And she’s like, “pea-nuts!”
Guy #2: Why are you holding your arms out when you say “penis”?
–Heartland Brewery, 6th Avenue
Overheard by: GeeGoo
Dad: Okay, pose for a picture honey! Hold your drink up!…Okay honey, look at the camera.
Little girl: But the sun is in my eyes.
Dad: Just look at the camera and I’ll take your picture…Look into the camera, honey!
Little girl: The sun hurts my eyes!
Dad: Just look into the camera really quick and I’ll take the picture.
She does, with great discomfort. He takes a picture after about 15 seconds.
Dad: That was awful.
–Park Slope
Father: It’s a little boy just like you, except you’re a little girl.
–2nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Broc Morten
