Dad: Wash your hands
Little boy: I don’t have to. I didn’t touch anything.
Dad: You touched yourself.
–Yankee Stadium Men’s Room
Overheard by: Jersey Guy
Dad: Wash your hands
Little boy: I don’t have to. I didn’t touch anything.
Dad: You touched yourself.
–Yankee Stadium Men’s Room
Overheard by: Jersey Guy
Father: This is what the brain looks like. It’s the least used part of the human body.
Wide-Eyed daughter: Really?
Father: It sure seems that way sometimes, doesn’t it?
–Bodies Exhibit, South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Little kid: But why can’t I play on the slide?
Dad: Because they want to have a fleamarket instead.
Kid: But why?
Dad: Because some people don’t like kids.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: cathy hannan
Dad: Ok, ok, it’s two outs, we’ll go after this batter.
Boy: Dad, I want water!
Dad: You know what I see? An impatient little boy who can’t wait five minutes.
Boy: You know what I see? Someone who’s gonna have their face broken because they didn’t have any water!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’ve been having the shittiest day today. No, it has nothing to do with our conversation this morning. Listen, believe it or not, I can have a shitty day that has nothing to do with you…Ugh, I have no idea why I called you. [hangs up] My fucking dad. I can’t even get a sympathy “it’s all rainbows and bunnies” phone-hug from him!
–Union Square W & 15th
Overheard by: someone who knows how she feels
An ice cream truck is going up the street.
Little girl in wagon: Daddy, that truck song is annoying.
Hipster dad: Yes, the commodification of your desires is annoying, isn’t it?
–Bedford & N 10th
Overheard by: susan
Kid behind a guy in a Fubu jersey: Dad, who’s Fubu?
Dad: That’s the guy’s name, son
–Penn Station
Mother: Honey, is this 42nd Street?
Father: Peggy, have you not lived in this goddamn city for 32 years?
Mother: Yes, but… I’m just curious. Is it? Just tell me.
Father to daughter: Tell your mother I’m not answering that question.
–Outside Grand Central
Old veteran: Have a Happy Father’s Day!
Dad: Happy Father’s Day to you, too.
Old veteran: Me? Oh no, not me. Well, maybe in Saigon.
–58th St & 37th Ave
Overheard by: Alvin Khaled
