Little girl: Mommy, can you go to the hospital and get me a baby sister?
Mother: Go ask daddy.
–Central Park
Overheard by: hbs
Little girl: Mommy, can you go to the hospital and get me a baby sister?
Mother: Go ask daddy.
–Central Park
Overheard by: hbs
Dad: How old are you?
Teen boy: Thirteen.
Dad: How old are you?
Mom: You know he’s thirteen.
Dad: It says here that if you’re eleven or younger, you get in free… How old are you?
Teen: Oh. Eleven.
–Roxy Deli
Overheard by: Kelsey
Headline by: Tom Dorey
Runners-Up:
· “And Don’t Forget, Your Mom’s Your Grandma And She Got That Black Eye Playing Bingo” – Kate
· “And it’s cheaper than regression therapy” – Kim
· “But He is 19 on Myspace” – DanC
· “Good Answer. Now Give Me $10 For Your Mother And Me.” – Hobo Whisperer
· “Good…now go shave your balls.” – Colin
· “If Your Mom Hadn’t Lied About her Age, You WOuldn’t Be Here Now” – Jason
· “Sorry, Not Applicable to Jews” – djingo
· “Still paying down the debt from Dad’s mid-life crisis” – Allison
· “You Know What I Like Better Than Welfare Checks? Nothing.” – Amos
· “You know I only get paid for sending them pre-teens” – kasey
Dad: Wash your hands
Little boy: I don’t have to. I didn’t touch anything.
Dad: You touched yourself.
–Yankee Stadium Men’s Room
Overheard by: Jersey Guy
Father: This is what the brain looks like. It’s the least used part of the human body.
Wide-Eyed daughter: Really?
Father: It sure seems that way sometimes, doesn’t it?
–Bodies Exhibit, South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Little kid: But why can’t I play on the slide?
Dad: Because they want to have a fleamarket instead.
Kid: But why?
Dad: Because some people don’t like kids.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: cathy hannan
Dad: Ok, ok, it’s two outs, we’ll go after this batter.
Boy: Dad, I want water!
Dad: You know what I see? An impatient little boy who can’t wait five minutes.
Boy: You know what I see? Someone who’s gonna have their face broken because they didn’t have any water!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’ve been having the shittiest day today. No, it has nothing to do with our conversation this morning. Listen, believe it or not, I can have a shitty day that has nothing to do with you…Ugh, I have no idea why I called you. [hangs up] My fucking dad. I can’t even get a sympathy “it’s all rainbows and bunnies” phone-hug from him!
–Union Square W & 15th
Overheard by: someone who knows how she feels
An ice cream truck is going up the street.
Little girl in wagon: Daddy, that truck song is annoying.
Hipster dad: Yes, the commodification of your desires is annoying, isn’t it?
–Bedford & N 10th
Overheard by: susan
Kid behind a guy in a Fubu jersey: Dad, who’s Fubu?
Dad: That’s the guy’s name, son
–Penn Station
