Chick: Remember when I got drunk off that cake?…Kate was there, too, but she has better tolerance and I was skinnier then, too.
–Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: alice ayers
Chick: Remember when I got drunk off that cake?…Kate was there, too, but she has better tolerance and I was skinnier then, too.
–Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: alice ayers
Waitress: Is this your granddaughter?
Grandma: Yes.
Waitress: She looks just like you.
Grandma: No, she looks like my son’s mother-in-law.
Waitress: Mother-in-law?
Grandma: She’s a big woman.
–Chinese Restaurant, UWS
Man: Hey, Chris! Wow! You look great! You have lost so much weight!
Chris: Thanks. Not a diet though, I’m a crystal meth addict.
–Chelsea
Brit Businessman: I hate having to eat. Because you eat and you just feel like a fattie.
Brit Businesswoman: I haven’t eaten.
Brit Businessman: You haven’t eaten?
Brit Businesswoman: Well, I had breakfast and then lunch.
–57th and Park
Overheard by: Heather
Businessman: Maria, Maria, Maria. I eat like 5 times a day.
Maria: So how do you stay looking so good?
Businessman: I’m a vegetarian, so I have to eat all the time.
–Midtown office
Man holding pool cue: Rack ’em, fattie!
–SoHo
Hippie: What color is your aura?
FIT girl: I think my aura has black and white stripes.
Hippie: Vertical or horizontal?
FIT girl: Horizontal…no, vertical.
Hippie: Is that because vertical stripes make your aura look fat?
FIT girl: Yeah.
–26th & 8th
Overheard by: Armchair Messiah
Guy: Damn, this escalator’s small…fat bitches can’t get on this.
–Movie Theater, Times Square
Overheard by: Alayna
Guy: I massaged this girl today. She might as well have been a shar-pei.
–Restivo’s, 22nd and 7th
Overheard by: Steven Coombs
British Woman: So, what’s the purpose of the Empire State Building again?
British Man: It’s a sign of American power.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Katherine O’Brien
Little Italian Guy: I’ll bet this whole building weighs at least a thousand pounds.
–Empire State Building (365,000 tons)
Overheard by: Stomach Aches
