Delicate grandmother to little girl: Do you need to use the ladies’ room?
Blunt father, translating: Do you need a toilet?
–79th & Broadway
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Delicate grandmother to little girl: Do you need to use the ladies’ room?
Blunt father, translating: Do you need a toilet?
–79th & Broadway
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Lady #1: How’s Aunt Beth* doing?
Lady #2: Good. She needs a makeover.
Lady #1: A makeover?
Lady #2: Yeah, she lost all that weight.
Lady #1: Ohhh — an extreme makeover.
Lady #2: Yeah.
–V train
Daughter: Yeah, didn’t she fall into a manhole?
Mom: No, that was her retarded cousin.
Daughter: That seems about right.
–Duane Reade, 34th & 5th
Overheard by: Gwen
Little grandson: Yo! He gonna go get some dicks!
Ghetto grandma: Where you learn to talk like? [To other passengers] I’m sorry. He needs his medication.
Little grandson: Dicks! Bitch! Coca-Cola!
–N train
Overheard by: CarrieBoo
Little girl looking at big, naked woman statue: She looks like me, but big!
Grandmother: Yes, yes she does.
Little girl looks at big, naked male statue: What’s that? It’s big.
Grandmother: Boy bits. They’re not usually that big.
–Columbus Circle Mall
Overheard by: Rama
Guy: You’re getting fat.
Girl: You’re just saying that ’cause you’re getting fat.
Guy: No way. You’ve definitely put on weight.
Girl: You can’t say shit like that to a woman.
Guy: You’re not a woman, you’re my sister.
–Houston & Lafayette platform
Little girl: Once upon a time, there were three little pigs, and their names were Elana, Jessica, and… And Daddy Midget.
Uncle: That best not be me.
Man: You the daddy?
Uncle: Naw, I’m the uncle. But I’m the only daddy around.
Little girl: … And they lived together…
Uncle: I know, I’m probably the wolf.
Little girl: And there was a big bad wolf, and his name was Uncle Greg*.
Uncle: That’s right, I’d best be the wolf.
Little girl: And they lived happily ever after.
–Subway station, 53rd & Lex
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Man, as ‘Angie’ by Rolling Stones plays: Oh, man, this song reminds me of being on acid.
Wife, laughing: Me, too.
Man, as ‘Tales of Brave Ulysses’ by Cream comes on: Okay, no, this song reminds me of being on acid!
Wife: Me, too!
20-something daughter: I can totally hear you guys!
–Schiller’s, Rivington St
Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds
Mom: Did you go to work today? Did you?!
Child: No!
Mom: Are you bringin’ in the pay checks?! Huh?!
Child, screaming: Mom, no! Aughhh!
–11th & 1st
Overheard by: disconnec
Little nephew: The kids who celebrate Kwanzaa at my school said that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.
Drunk uncle: You should tell them that the myth of a college education and a prosperous life that they belief in are an even bigger lie!
–Penthouse, Park Ave
