Older man: I'm really excited for Michelle.
Older woman: I'm really worried for Michelle.
–Willets Point
Overheard by: TCS
Older man: I'm really excited for Michelle.
Older woman: I'm really worried for Michelle.
–Willets Point
Overheard by: TCS
Woman #1: I need to get a new roommate.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Because I'm getting my period on her cycle now. And tampons are expensive!
Woman #2: Maybe you should live with a guy.
–Central Park
Little boy #1: You’re afraid to talk to girls!
Little boy #2 (very solemnly): Because they’re monsters.
–56th & 8th
Overheard by: Cori
Homeless man: If I can’t get me a girl, I’m gonna masturbate until my dick falls off!
Nearby butch-looking chick: Yeah!! Me, too!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: smokincat
(little boy #1 is playing a Nintendo)
Little boy #1: Yeah, that final boss was pretty hard, but I’m glad it was a sorceress, not a sorcerer; it’s a well known fact that they’re more powerful.
Little boy #2: It’s true.
–6 Train
Overheard by: florian
Emotional suit: My shrink said I’m dragging my feet to test my wife.
Supportive suit: He could be right.
Emotional suit: No, it’s a woman.
Supportive suit: Oh no! She is manipulating your ass.
–3 Train
Overheard by: EmLo
Two-year-old boy, pointing at dinnerware: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: No.
Two-year-old boy, pointing at pots: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: No.
Two-year-old boy, pointing at woman: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: Yes, but that's rude.
–Bed Bath & Beyond
Woman on cell: I’m telling you, men just don’t have to go through anything like this. They just don’t. I fell at Dunkin’ Donuts today. I fell. I hadn’t eaten a thing all day.
–UES elevator
Male employee #1: I wish I was more like Sarah Palin.
Male employee #2: You mean, you wish you was a female? Or you wish you were a Republican politician?
–Target Store
Overheard by: amalthya
Sassy eight-year-old to mother: You don't know Spanish except what you learned from Selena.
–2 Train
Chick on cell: Watching 27 Dresses in a cheetah robe…
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Virginia
Little boy, as his mother asks for directions: Great, we're lost in New York City. It's like Home Alone!
–Across from Spamalot Theatre
Fag to hag: Don't you remember that time on Titanic when Leonardo DiCaprio told you not to just talk about it, but do it? He was gonna teach you how to spit like a man and ride a horse like a man, and then the ship sank and he died. This is your moment. Spit, woman, spit!
–Natural History Museum
(at a screening of The Shining)
Woman: Haha! How can a ghost open a door? This movie sucks!
–Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park
Thug to another: And she said she wanna go to the movies. And I said I don't wanna go to the movies, I want some pussy!
–57th & 9th
Overheard by: JPM
Panhandler on train: Please, I can't afford the rent at the YMCA because they just raised it. So if anyone has some money or some food or something to drink, it would really help me out. Jesus loves people who help poor people. Also, don't forget to see the new summer blockbuster Hellboy II. It's really great.
–F Train
Overheard by: JB
