Meet New York City's Most Functional Couple

Male suit: See, look at her! (points at woman on BlackBerry) Women are more likely to get killed while texting than men. Men are always aware of their surroundings.
Female suit: No, men just can't walk and text at the same time. Women are better at multi-tasking.
Male suit: Alright, since you're so good at multi-tasking, suck my dick and make me a sandwich.
Female suit: I've got news for you. If you keep eating sandwiches, even hookers won't want to suck your dick.

–Broadway & Astor Place

Overheard by: Ashley

Posted on June 2, 2018
Advice, BJs, Blackberry, Compare/Contrast, Food, Gender issues, Murder, Offers and requests, Penis, Prostitution, Suits, The Village, Wishes & desires

Ellie Was Branded As Ambitious Early On

Grade school girl #1: Why are you so upset?
Grade school girl #2: People at school think I like three boys! Do you know what that does to my reputation?!

–Outside the elementary school, 76th St

Posted on May 2, 2018
Elementary & Middle School, Gender issues, Girls, Kids, Questions, Relationships, School, School and studying

Paris Hilton: “That's Wednesday One-Liner.”

Hipster waitress to another: Camel toe is like, really hot, but also really uncomfortable.

–Williamsburg

College guy to friend: Dude, I'd definitely date a dude who looked like a hot chick… It's not gay.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Stephen

Professor: Welcome to CUNY, it's like menopause. It's either too hot or too cold.

–City University of New York

Latino girl on cell: Bitch, please. I'm gonna look mad hot tonight. I'ma comb my hair!

–American Apparel

Male professor: I don't care how hot Brad Pitt is… If he sits on my lap, nothing's going to happen!

–New York Institute of Technology

Overheard by: Not Brad Pitt

Posted on April 9, 2018
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Baristas, Beauty, Body Parts, City College, College, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Frat Boys, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Hair, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Hunter, Latinos, Movies, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Store, Teachers/Professors, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Williamsburg

I Was Born a Wednesday, but I Identify With One-Liners

Guy to girlfriend and friend: Goddammit, neither one of you is a gay man trapped in a woman's body.

–8th & 9th

Overheard by: cracking up

Girl on cell: Are all she-males gay? Cause if they're into women, sign me up.

–Astor Place

Teen on cell: Dudes have, like, purses here…

–110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Al-master

Guy to friend: She's not a tranny, but she's, y'know: tran-y.

–Grand St & Bedford Ave

Overheard by: KateM

Man on cell: You and I are both complex women. It's more complicated than that.

–21st St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Ben

Posted on February 10, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Fashion, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girlfriends, Guys, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Sexuality, Street, Teens, The Village, Trannies, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

I Always Have to Wait 'til You're Sleeping!

Female: Stop calling me “dude,” I'm a “dudette”! I haven't got cojones.
Male: You never let me look.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: bonobobill

Posted on January 15, 2018
Balls, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Nicknames & name calling, Staten Island Ferry

I'm Starting to Care That the Girl Has an Orgasm

Girl #1: So wait… You have trouble orgasming?
Girl #2: Yes! It's like impossible for me to come through sex alone.
Girl #1: But fingering and oral works?
Girl #2: Well, yeah.
Girl #1 to guy friend: How ya hanging in there, Matt?
Matt: I need to start hanging out with more guys.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on November 14, 2017
Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Hand-Jobs, Licking, Orgasm, Questions, Sex, Washington Square Park

New York Women Know They're Beautiful

Techie in suit: I mean, there are two reasons. A: it's better.
Meathead friend: Uh-huh.
Techie: A: it's warmer.
Meathead: Uh-huh.
Techie: B: the women there are much more receptive to thinly veiled suggestion.
Meathead: Uh…
Techie: What I mean by that is that they have low self esteem. I do my best work with low self esteem.

–14th St & 8th Ave Subway Station

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on November 3, 2017
Advice, Friends, Gender issues, Meatheads, Relationships, Stupidity, Subway Stations, Suits, The Village

Because She Knew How to Behave Like a Lady.

Guy #1: I told him you don't ask a woman for a cigarette, you just don't do it.
Guy #2: Yeah… Word.
Guy #1: But he didn't listen. Next thing you know he's getting pistol whipped and my car is being towed away.

–1 Train

Posted on October 27, 2017
Advice, Cars and Driving, Gender issues, Guys, On the Subway, Smoking, Violence, Weapons

But I’m Not at All Happy with These Glasses

Chick: I like your grandma.
Guy: He’s a dude.
Chick: Oh… I like your grandpa.

–City College

Overheard by: Low Quality pictures online

Posted on June 7, 2017
City College, Compliments, Default, Family Ties, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Stupidity

Would That Have Been Better? Discuss.

Girl #1: When is she having the baby?
Girl #2: Real soon… I wouldn't be surprised if she had it today!
Girl #3: I hope it's a boy.
Girl #2: No. If it is, she's giving it up for adoption. For real. I stood over her and saw her sign the papers. She should've just gotten an abortion.

–L Train

Overheard by: Jayboi

Posted on May 20, 2016
Abortion, Babies, Gender issues, Girls, On the Subway, Pregnancy & Birth Control

Gender issues