Guy: You’re getting fat.
Girl: You’re just saying that ’cause you’re getting fat.
Guy: No way. You’ve definitely put on weight.
Girl: You can’t say shit like that to a woman.
Guy: You’re not a woman, you’re my sister.
–Houston & Lafayette platform
Guy: You’re getting fat.
Girl: You’re just saying that ’cause you’re getting fat.
Guy: No way. You’ve definitely put on weight.
Girl: You can’t say shit like that to a woman.
Guy: You’re not a woman, you’re my sister.
–Houston & Lafayette platform
Queer #1: Christians are the most vile creatures on this planet.
Queer #2: Shhh… They’ll hear you!
–13th St, between Greenwich & 7th Ave
Chick #1: Earl Warren was a schmuck.
Chick #2: Yeah, he was.
Chick #1: Plus, he looked like Admiral Ackbar.
–Taxi, West Side Hwy
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Hipster girl #1: I’ve never seen a fat midget.
Hipster girl #2: Oh, god, who would ever want to see a fat midget?! I’m sure they don’t exist.
–1st Ave, between 12th & 13th St
Overheard by: rpk
Fat guy: I love you.
Cute girl: Do you really mean what you say, or are you just saying it?
Fat guy: Of course I mean it. [They make out, then chick leaves.] What a dumb bitch.
–W4 station
Overheard by: Ting
Five-year-old boy: Your life is bad. Your life is bad. Your life is bad! Your life is bad. Your life is bad…
Father: Reeves!
–3 train
Jamaican nanny on cell: Girl, I just got back from a four day vacation. Where? My bed. We fucked nonstop for four days like dogs. I couldn’t even get out to take a shit.
Mother: Excuse me, there are children around.
Jamaican nanny: Fuck the children!
–Food Emporium, UWS
Overheard by: Dan
Teen #1: So, apparently the average human vagina is only 4 inches deep.
Teen #2: No fucking way, dude.
Teen #1: Yeah, so I guess having a huge dick isn’t very helpful in that case.
Teen #2: You hear that? Your eight inches are useless!
Teen #3: Excuse me for having a bigger dick than you.
–F train
Overheard by: mystery man
Jewish guy, to young white couple: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
Hobo: Man, do they fucking look Jewish?! Leave them the fuck alone, and get the hell outta here!
–9th & 2nd
Overheard by: 54
Headline by: Michael DeLong
Runners-Up:
· “Go Circumcise Somebody Else!” – John
· “Jesus Returns to Do Some Street Work” – Sim Etrias
· “Let My People Go, Bitch!” – jenna
· “Moses Had Such A Temper” – Dion
· “Sorry, Didn’t Notice He Was Short One Foreskin.” – Sheathed
· “Where Can I Get a Hobo Bodyguard?” – Ashley
Chick #1: What right did he have to touch me?!
Chick #2: None! Fucking pervert.
Chick #1: I don’t understand… Was the ‘Fuck off’ sign on my forehead not enough for him? … God, is there a bathroom around here? I really need to wash my hands now.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Amused
