10-year-old girl: Mommy, when I grow up, do you still have to follow me everywhere?
Mom: No.
10-year-old girl: Yesss!
–M101 bus
Overheard by: FRAIS
10-year-old girl: Mommy, when I grow up, do you still have to follow me everywhere?
Mom: No.
10-year-old girl: Yesss!
–M101 bus
Overheard by: FRAIS
Professor: … And who doesn’t want to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer?!
Girl: I don’t.
Professor: Well, fine. You’re a freak.
–NYU
Four-year-old: Daddy, what’s that?
Dad: It’s a siren. Are you serious? What’s wrong with you?
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Sarahcasm
Latina chick, in Spanish, after Korean tourist trips into her: Listen, you son of a bitch — don’t touch me, you faggot! You get me, asshole?!
Friend: Haha, babe, like this asshole understands what you’re saying?
Korean tourist, in Spanish: I lived in Puerto Rico for two years.
Latina chick, in English: Oh, word? What part?
–A train
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Fat woman, panting: Slow down! I can’t run in these heels.
Thin woman: You can’t run in that ass.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: invid
Father, dragging four-year-old daughter across street: Come on! [Little girl trips.] Oh!
Mother, from behind: What happened?
Father: She wasn’t paying attention!
Mother: Sarah, this is what happens when you’re eating your shirt and looking the wrong way! You smack into the curb!
–E 15th & Irving Pl
Girl crying on doorstep: Just leave so I can live my life!
Guy friend: I would, but I don’t think I should leave you. If anything, you should leave me so I know you’re okay.
Girl: That’s the gayest, most ’80s thing I’ve ever heard! [Guy, laughing hysterically, gets up and walks away.]Guy friend: Bravo — that was the best insult I’ve ever heard in my life!
–8th & Ave C
Giant black man holding hands with tiny son: Yo, you only four years old — you dunno what’s up!
Tiny boy: I’m three!
Giant black man: See? You don’t even know how old you are!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Hannah
Girl: I’m so glad you’re moving in with us.
Queer: Me, too. I was talking to my roommate the other day — the one I hate — and she was like, ‘I feel like once you move out I’ll never see you and we won’t hang out anymore.’ And I was just thinking, ‘Bitch, when I move out, you’re coming off my MySpace! You was just a pity add!’
–Central Park
White guy, about pretty black chick passerby: Yo, why do black girls always look at you but not me?
Black guy: Same reason why you piss close to the urinal and I gotta stand a foot away.
–35th & 6th
Overheard by: Hispanic guy who stands 8 inches away
