Insults

Ice cream truck guy to boy on scooter: How are you doing, little man?
Little boy to ice cream guy: How are you doing, faggot?

–Astoria, Queens

Teen: Oh my god! You’re sooo cool.
12-year-old ghetto kid, throwing snappers at him: Fuck you, cracka!

–President St, Park Slope

Overheard by: Lucian

Dude #1: You're so slutty!
Dude #2: We're both so slutty…
Dude #1: Heh, I know…if these balls could talk…
Dude #2: It's gotten to the point where, if I'm about to do it with a guy, I drop your name, just to be sure.

–55th & 9th

Guy: If Hitler were still alive and he were gay you would have thought he’d decorated that apartment. It was a soulless aesthetic abomination.

–Madison between 60th & 61st

Overheard by: daisy anna freund

Chubby girl: I just went to the zoo!
Homely friend: Without me?
Chubby girl: I saw the seals! They looked like our offspring!

–Tasti D-Lite, 3rd Ave, UES

Overheard by: alexandra

Thug #1: Yo, son, yo’ face looks like a fucked-up pony, son!
Thug #2: Shit, son.

–Post office, 60th St

White trash woman to angry boyfriend: Stop! I'm in my car and I love myself! I love myself! Fuck you if you don't love yourself! Tyra says to love yourself, and I love myself!

–49th & 11th

Conductor: Passengers, as you all know the New Haven line is known as the Love Line, because of our red colors and red schedules. For Valentine's Day why not buy a loved one a ticket? Nothing says "I love you" like a Metro North ticket! Imagine the look on your mother-in-law's face when she opens up her present to find a one way trip to Manhattan!

–Metro North Train

Sorority girl: And this is a list of all the girls who love Jell-o.

–St. John's University

Overheard by: Peter G

Guy on Bluetooth: What did I say? I said I love you and you didn't fucking say anything back. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

–Jackson Heights

Excited black guy to friend: Damn! I think I'm in love, she's like the whole package! She's pretty, she's fuckable, and she can cook!

–A Train

Overheard by: Tim

Little boy leaving the church: Bye, Jesus! I love you!

–Riverside Church

Overheard by: Stephanie

Hungover girl #1: I can't believe how wasted we got last night.
Hungover girl #2: I know, I feel like shit. It's a nice day though.
Random neighbor: Oh… look! It's the two drunk girls that cursed me out last night.
Random neighbor's girlfriend: What did you do?

–Upper East Side

Chick #1, pointing at man leaving: That guy’s fly was open the entire ride.
Chick #2: Wow, you’re so observant. You notice everything.
Chick #1: I’m just really superficial.

–L train

Little boy: Are you from Florida?
Southern man: No, Tennessee, why?
Little boy: You sound like a cowgirl.
Southern man: I really don’t think Florida has any cowgirls.
Little boy: Well, you still sound like one.

–Nelson Ave & 168th St