Man on cell: Wait, you’re telling me my money went to help some kid go to camp? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? I thought I was curing a cripple or some shit like that. What’s up with that? I never went to camp when I was a kid. Good to hear some brat I never met is going to be swimming in a lake all summer long while my nephew is cooling himself off by a hydrant in the street.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Victor Hugo
Fat chick: I said excuse me!
Fatter chick: Ya, well, you were up my ass for the last 5 minutes.
Fat chick: Ya I want to be up that fat ass!
Fatter chick: Shall I follow you to Queens? Shall I? Some of us can afford to live on 60th Street.
–59th Street station
A woman is arguing with the man in the token booth, but he’s speaking through the mic and his voice is muffled.
Woman: Huh? What? What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, all right. Shut the fuck up, Burger King.
–Sutter Avenue station
Overheard by: Deshaunicus
Guy: Here you go man. Here’s some fries.
Hobo: Fries? Fries with what?
–88th & Madison
Overheard by: Benjamin K.
Crazy lady: I hate my fucking mother and I want to kill her. I want to watch her bleed. She is a fat lazy bitch. She was nothing but a container!
Guy: God will not forgive you if you kill your mother. Can you also keep it down please?
–PATH train
Overheard by: JMK
Surrounded by four teenage girls, Matt Dillon can only ask: Do you even know what a movie is?
–86th & Columbus
Man: Of course you have to pick the row with the cripple. I can’t get up now because I’ll feel bad that she has to use her cane every time!
Woman: Frankly, I didn’t even notice.
Man: Yeah, till you kicked her cane!
–Prospect Park Bandshell
Girl: Excuse me!…Would you guys keep it down? I am trying to listen to the band!
Guy: Oh, I am sorry…Would you mind crossing your legs? I am trying to enjoy the outdoors.
–Prospect Park Bandshell
Chick #1: I don’t know what’s up with her.
Chick #2: Yeah, it’s like she’s got some kinda fabric up her ass.
–Christopher Street
Overheard by: Marco Romano
Hobo: Help me! I have 9 starving kids at home!
Suit: Yesterday you had 12 starving kids, what happened?
Hobo: That’s right and the 2 of them died in a horrible fire yesterday! Please help me!
Suit: What happened to the 12th?
Hobo: Man, get the fuck outta here, you’re fucking up my rap!
–57th Street station
Guy on cell: Holy shit, she’s too fucking old to get AIDS. The virus would be like “Ew, fuck that, she’s old.”
–F train
Overheard by: Glynnis
A blocked sewer grate causes a nasty-looking puddle. A Black guy steps over it and says: This shit’s disgusting. This is how we all get AIDS.
–23rd & Park
Overheard by: Erica
Woman on cell: Tell everybody to come to New York and play D&D with me.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Francesca
Guy: So what you’re saying is that every event in modern history was
caused by a time-traveling Keanu Reeves?
–Chevy’s, Times Square
Overheard by: Kenny B
Boy on cell: …yeah, I know! So then I said, “Bitch, that’s what you get for messing with a level 5 dragon master!”
–C train
Overheard by: Lorelai Greenwood
Fat lady: You know, I don’t think I would make a good vampire…I don’t like staying up too late.
–W. 57th Street office
