Girl: So what does that mean? I don’t know how to read him. And when he does all these sexual things for me and asks nothing in return, does that mean he loves me or that I will owe him in the future?
Guy: Cut it out already, bunny boiler!
–Hudson Hotel, West 58th Street
Hipster chick: You like the Killers? Of all the British bands–
Hipster boy: I think they’re from Vegas, actually.
Hipster chick: Well, I just assumed they’re British because they suck.
–L train
Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter.
–Music Box theatre, West 45th Street
Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich.
–C train
Overheard by: nicolette
Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin.
–68th & Columbus
Overheard by: Andrew Zar
Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday.
–Red Hook
Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all.
–52 & Lexington
Teen girl #1: He called me a female dog.
Teen girl #2: Oh.
Teen girl #1: Then I set him on fire, and he was like, “Okay.”
–Forest Hills
Girl: You staring at me?
Guy: Yeah, but only ’cause you look so fine.
Girl: True. But you can stop checking me out now. These aren’t public titties, they’re private titties. For select audiences only, and you’re not a member.
–A train
Man on cell: Wait, you’re telling me my money went to help some kid go to camp? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? I thought I was curing a cripple or some shit like that. What’s up with that? I never went to camp when I was a kid. Good to hear some brat I never met is going to be swimming in a lake all summer long while my nephew is cooling himself off by a hydrant in the street.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Victor Hugo
Fat chick: I said excuse me!
Fatter chick: Ya, well, you were up my ass for the last 5 minutes.
Fat chick: Ya I want to be up that fat ass!
Fatter chick: Shall I follow you to Queens? Shall I? Some of us can afford to live on 60th Street.
–59th Street station
A woman is arguing with the man in the token booth, but he’s speaking through the mic and his voice is muffled.
Woman: Huh? What? What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, all right. Shut the fuck up, Burger King.
–Sutter Avenue station
Overheard by: Deshaunicus
Guy: Here you go man. Here’s some fries.
Hobo: Fries? Fries with what?
–88th & Madison
Overheard by: Benjamin K.
Crazy lady: I hate my fucking mother and I want to kill her. I want to watch her bleed. She is a fat lazy bitch. She was nothing but a container!
Guy: God will not forgive you if you kill your mother. Can you also keep it down please?
–PATH train
Overheard by: JMK
Surrounded by four teenage girls, Matt Dillon can only ask: Do you even know what a movie is?
–86th & Columbus
