Chick #1: A black thong with that skirt, what is she thinking? It’s totally see-through!
Chick #2: Yeah, but who’d want to look?
Chick #1: Oh my god, we are such hateful bitches!
Chick #2: I know!
–15th & 5th
Chick #1: A black thong with that skirt, what is she thinking? It’s totally see-through!
Chick #2: Yeah, but who’d want to look?
Chick #1: Oh my god, we are such hateful bitches!
Chick #2: I know!
–15th & 5th
Girl: Mom, how long do you think the turtle will live?
Mother: What do I look like, a fucking turtle connoisseur?
–Canal & West Broadway
Overheard by: David Kopach
Girl #1: She’s such a cranky hobag slut.
Girl #2: I love how we call her “slut” and she’s never even had sex with another cat. Ever.
–Williamsburg coffee shop
Guy #1: You Indian? India is like the next superpower, dude.
Guy #2: Superpower my ass.
–87th & Lexington
Girl #1: …was supposed to be there. You know, from The Golden Girls.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, what happened?
Girl #1: Didn’t show, I hear she’s a real bitch.
Girl #2: Isn’t she like really old now?
Girl #1: She was really old like 25 years ago.
–11th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Eric
Dude #1: …This girl was so fucking hot. I went up to her and asked her if she wanted to dance. She said, “I don’t dance” and I said, “I don’t either.” But she was like, “Sorry, I really don’t dance. I’m not, like, rejecting you or anything.” So I went back towards the stage and kept dancing.
Dude #2: Okay.
Dude #1: Then, after the next song, I went up to her and asked her to dance again and she said no, but she kinda smiled at me like she thought it was cute.
Dude #2: So?
Dude #1: So, after the show, I hung around to try to talk to her.
Dude #2: What happened?
Dude #1: I don’t know. I got too drunk and forgot what she looked like.
Dude #2: You’re a fucking moron.
–6 train
Chick: If you don’t want to look like a lesbian at the party, make sure you stay a little drunk the whole time.
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: Annie
Girl: Did you really fuck that other girl?
Guy: No, not really. She fucked me.
Girl: Oh okay. You’re really an asshole, you know that?
Guy: Sure.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Robert
Girl: So he comes in with this necklace that says, “I’m an asshole”. And I’m, like, how are you? And he says, “I’m an asshole.”
–15th & 8th
Overheard by: boswell
Queer: That bitch thinks he’s some Andy Warhol superstar! Fuck him bloody!
–Ludlow & Houston
Hobo: Got any money, man? I’m hungry.
Guy: Hey, how are you?
Hobo: How am I? How the fuck do you think I am, 50 fuckin’ people walked by and how much do I got? 10 fuckin cents, how the fuck am I. Shit, man. “How the fuck are you?” What kind of question is that? I’m fuckin’ homeless.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Erin H.
