White tween: Everyone has a MySpace.
Asian tween: I don’t have a MySpace.
White tween: You don’t got a MySpace? Why not?
Asian tween: ‘Cause it’s the easiest way to meet sexual predators.
White tween, laughing: Nah, don’t worry. You ain’t ever gonna meet any sexual predators — you’re ugly.
–PS 173 playground, Fresh Meadows
Spanish chick #1: He look good. You think you gonna give him your number?
Spanish chick #2: Nuh-uh. Not with his teeth lookin’ like he been eatin’ rocks.
–E train
Overheard by: JK
50-ish woman #1: She’s a bitch.
50-ish woman #2: Well, her daughter killed herself.
50-ish woman #1: And now we know why! She’s a bitch! I may not have been the smartest girl in class, but I’m perceptive. She’s a bitch!
–Westside Restaurant
Overheard by: dek
Early-20s chick: Look at that girl! She’s, like, thirty! She should just give it up and go have some kids already.
30-ish guy nearby: Fuck you!
–Scruffy Duffy’s
Overheard by: 30 and kidless
Drunk guy: Wait, you’re not going anywhere? [Off-duty cabbie shakes his head.] Hey, buddy, fuck you!
Cabbie: Thank you very much, sir.
–8th Ave
Guy #1: I’ve been playing the guitar for years.
Guy #2: You play guitar like Bette Midler has sex.
Guy #1: Fuck you.
–86th & Lex platform
Overheard by: Mikey P.
Guy: I’m exhausted as fuck.
Chick: Good for you.
Guy: Shut up, you twunt.
Chick: Did you just try to combine ‘twat’ and ‘cunt’?
Guy: Some of my friends created it.
Chick: No wonder it’s retarded. It completely takes away from both insults, which are perfectly functional and to the point by themselves.
Guy: You’re such a little bitch.
–181st & Ft. Washington
Overheard by: LSB
Woman passerby: Come on, you fucking tourists! Get a life! It’s only a fucking cupcake!
Girl in line, mockingly: Oh my god, you’re making such an important social statement!
Old lady in line: Seriously, it’s not our fault she’s a fat bitch.
–Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker St
Overheard by: KO
JAP #1: I can’t believe I’m doing this for her. I mean, she doesn’t even like me.
JAP #2: She doesn’t like you? Why?
JAP #1: Because I’m a slut.
JAP #2: Oh, yeah…
–East Village
Overheard by: Miss J
Dude: You’re such a slut!
Chick: How does leaving town make me a slut?
Dude: Uh, I was talking about your door-to-door nut-slapping service.
–Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: Danielle is hot!
