Mother: You have to cut her chicken fingers up. I gave her a whole one the other day and she almost choked to death.
Father: I like for her to learn to take bites.
Mother: She’s not ready.
Two-year-old daughter: I’m not ready, Dad.
–Diner, Midtown
Mother: You have to cut her chicken fingers up. I gave her a whole one the other day and she almost choked to death.
Father: I like for her to learn to take bites.
Mother: She’s not ready.
Two-year-old daughter: I’m not ready, Dad.
–Diner, Midtown
Little boy: Mom, how did the dinosaurs cook their meat?
Mother: They didn’t, they ate it raw.
Little boy: Oh. [Long pause.] Are Japanese people dinosaurs?
–Astoria Park
Mom to toddler screaming in stroller: That’s it, sweetie. Let it all out. Doesn’t that feel good?
–TJ Maxx, 19th & 6th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Mom to toddler: Joseph, stop walking like a tourist!
–51st & 5th
Overheard by: Gillian
Mother to toddler running into automatic revolving door: You best not hurt yourself or I will fuck you up!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: HelloClairice
Man to child in stroller: … Then we push her over the edge of the cliff. That’s called getting even!
–President & 5th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: George
Mother to three-year-old daughter: Hey, it’s Santa on the phone. And you know what he says? Stop taking my credit cards.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: lish
Mom to two small children struggling to get through the crowd: Just push them all as hard as you can! Use your fists and elbows, too!
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: Ivy270
Father hand-in-hand with seven-year-old boy who’s singing national anthem: That’s right, sing it loud and sing it wrong.
–Times Square
Six-year old boy: Mom, what’s that?
Loud mother in cheery voice: That’s your prostate!
–Bodies exhibit, South St Seaport
Overheard by: Diana B
Kid: Dad, what’s a novel?
Dad: It’s a story written down in a book.
Kid: What’s a short story?
Dad, staring at kid: Are you freakin’ kidding me?
–Father Demo Square
Overheard by: z-pfeiff
Teacher: When you grow up you can be anything you want!
Second grader: I can be an elephant?!
–P.S. 121
Little boy #1: I wish dinosaurs lived in Central Park.
Little boy #2: Dinosaurs aren’t real — they’re from the TV.
Little boy #3: Dinosaurs are real, they just live on other planets.
Little boy #2: Like Pluto!
Little boy #1: Pluto isn’t a planet anymore. The scientists blowed it up.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: pluto is still a planet to me
Little girl totters from side to side.
Mom: What are you doing, honey?
Little girl: Today I’m going to walk like Daddy!
–117th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: amused bystander
Little girl after dropping lollipop: Shit!
Mother: Madison!
Little girl: What? It’s not like I said ‘fuck’!
–Dylan’s Candy Bar
Son: … But are they really bad guys, or just guys gone wrong?
Father: Some of these men have committed gruesome killings.
Son: Wow.
Father: It is why I can never be on one of those juries, since I was part of an attempted murder case. I was the killee, not the killer…
–78th & Madison
Overheard by: nyc8675309
