Seven-year-old boy: Dad, what does A-N-A-L spell?
Dad, pausing and looking horrified, then relieved: Canal! There’s a C first. We’re at Canal Street.
–6 train
Seven-year-old boy: Dad, what does A-N-A-L spell?
Dad, pausing and looking horrified, then relieved: Canal! There’s a C first. We’re at Canal Street.
–6 train
Mom: Look at the size of that dog!
Four-year-old son: That’s not a dog, it’s a chihuahua!
–Washington Sq Park
Overheard by: Kerri
Little girl: And I’ll be the mommy and you’ll be the daddy and she’ll be the baby!
Little boy: No, I want to be the mommy!
Little girl: Well, we can’t be gay, because that’s illegal in New York.
Nanny: Who told you that?!
Little girl: My mommy.
–Rite Aid, 14th & 6th
Overheard by: Monika
Mom: What time is the flight tomorrow?
Dad: Seven a.m. We have to get up at 4:30.
Little girl: Mommy, we’re going on an airplane?
Mom: Yes, honey, we’re going to Florida tomorrow.
Little girl: Why are we going to Florida, Mommy?
Mom: We’re going to Grandpa’s unveiling.
Little girl, terrified: Mommy, I don’t want to see Grandpa. He’s dead and scary.
Dad: [Laughing.]Mom: Robert, shut up!
–Christopher & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1
Teacher: What country do we live in?
Very enthusiastic little boy: The United States of New York!
Teacher, a few minutes later: Can someone name a state outside of New York?
Very enthusiastic little boy: Brooklyn!
–First grade classroom, the Bronx
Gleeful girl to friend: Hey, do you like child trafficking?!
–Union Square
Overheard by: NYCtrippedmyconscience
Hobo sitting on ground cleaning a trumpet, to hot lady passerby: Hey, don’t fucking look at me — I’m too old for you!
–51st & 2nd
Overheard by: Outlaw
20-ish chick on cell: I only fucked that scum-sucking man-whore because my ex was fucking an 18-year-old.
–Bleecker & Broadway
Teacher with group of kids on field trip: It’s so hard to find a tall, skinny senior boy.
–C train
Overheard by: ej
Teen girl: Yeah, Renata can totally pull off pedophilia.
–C train
Overheard by: sarah
Puerto Rican girl to another: I never dated a white guy, ’cause they got bad taste in underwear.
–Subway station, Times Square
Overheard by: Mama
Chick: … So I was dancing in the kitchen in my underwear and I looked out the window and the orthodox Yeshiva student guy that lives across the building from me was just staring open-mouthed. I’m never gonna open the curtains in the kitchen again.
–181st St
Overheard by: LSB
Mother to toddler son: Now, honey, close your eyes. This isn’t for you.
–Frederick’s of Hollywood, King’s Plaza
Queer: I totally go out of my way to wear edible thongs to work.
–Library Bar, Houston & Ave A
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Teen girl quickly descending staircase: I didn’t wear a bra again today. My boobs are bouncing down these stairs!
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Suit on cell: Well, I mean, I have thongs… But I really don’t consider those underwear…
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Laura
Wailing six-year-old boy: But whyyy?!
Mom: Well, I know, honey, but kick him in the shins, don’t kick him in the balls!
–Prince & Broadway
A woman and four fancifully-dressed little kids are waiting to cross the street.
Little girl: Can’t we cross the streeet? What are we waiting for?!
Stressed mom: Your father. Remember? The guy you want to be cremated with?
–72nd & Central Park West
Overheard by: Elm City Lass
