Four-year-old tourist kid: I farted!
Tourist dad: Give me a high five!
–C train
Four-year-old tourist kid: I farted!
Tourist dad: Give me a high five!
–C train
Little girl #1 looking at Manhattan Mini Storage poster: Do you know what ‘suburb’ means?
Little girl #2: Sunburns?
Little girl #1: Suburbs. ‘Stuck in the suburbs.’ They’re boring. See that guy in his underwear? His house is in the suburbs.
Little girl #2: Sunburns?
–N train
Overheard by: LSB
Kid in stroller: I want rice!
Mom: You don’t want no rice.
Kid: I don’t want no rice.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: djingo
Girl: Last time you told me something was overrated I got pregnant.
–Sephora, Broadway
Overheard by: linzz
Guy: … So then she changed her middle name to something like "Afterbirth…"
–Spring St
Overheard by: boston bobby
College guy on cell: He was like, ‘Shit, she’s got a bun in the oven!’ And I was like, ‘Oh, shit!’
–Columbia University
Overheard by: roo
Chick: She said he talked to her on the phone and that’s how he got her pregnant.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Wondering how that works
Preggers: I’m gonna across this street against the light, pregnant and all, and I’m not gonna have a miscarriage.
–Eastern Pkwy & Classon Ave, Crown Heights, Brooklyn
Employee to another: I only gained two pounds during my pregnancy, and I’m on my seventh month!
–Burger King, 5th Ave, between 36th & 37th
Overheard by: EE Grimshaw
NYU girl on cell: … So then the doctor comes in and he goes, ‘Houston, we have a problem…" I know, right? What’s with doctors trying to be all funny when they’re telling you that you’re pregnant?
–NYU bus
Overheard by: tj
Little boy #1: You remember we don’t like girls, right? I don’t like girls.
Little boy #2: Yeah, but you should have worn your dinosaur shirt. They’re very in today.
–LIRR
Little girl: Look, Mommy! Those two girls are wearing angel wings.
Hipster chick #1: Actually, they’re fairy wings.
Little girl: Why are you wearing fairy wings?
Hipster chick #2: We just felt like wearing them for fun.
Crazy guy: Hey, ladies! Nice wings. You could definitely be my angels.
Hipster chick #1: Goddammit. They’re fucking fairy wings!
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Little girl: Sat-ur-day, Sat-ur-day, Sat-ur-day… I’m going to blow your head off.
Dad: Yeah?
–34th & 9th
Overheard by: Kevin Frost
Drunk girl: Happy New Year!
Long-haired child: Happy New Year!
Drunk girl: What’s your name?
Long-haired child: Slater.
Drunk girl: Slayer?
Long-haired child: Slate-er.
Drunk girl: That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.
Long-haired child: I’m a boy.
–W 113th St
Mom: So, is Alex Rodriguez black or Hispanic?
Boy: He’s married.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Bobby
Man: You know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, right?
Six-year-old boy: No, he does exist. When I wrote him a letter and asked him for pink Plush Puppies, I got them on Christmas.
Man: Dude, then you are a serious homosexual. What kind of boy asks for pink Plush Puppies?
–Rockaway
Overheard by: Bully
