Pick-up Lines

Chick: Wow…
Middle-aged man: Yeah, girl, when I get home it all comes off!

–23rd & Park

Overheard by: Black in Queens

Hobo: Are the raindrops only falling on me? Does anyone feel this?
Girl: I think it’s everyone…
Hobo: Now that I got you to talk to me, want to go out tonight? [Girl ignores him.] What?! I had a beautiful girl last night — I can’t get a normal one today?!

–Union Square

Frat boys in truck: Wooo! Where the ladies at?!
Queer couple, walking arm-in-arm: Right heeere!

–East Village

Overheard by: afro*T*siac

Party girl, looking at police on horses: I want to take a horse to the Upper East Side!
Jock: You’re going to the Upper East Side? Want to share a cab?
Party girl: Sure.
Jock: Want to fuck?
Party girl: Sure.

–21st & 6th

Overheard by: wish i had asked her

Pudgy guy: I got her number.
Female friend: Oh, you did?! Wow, you must have been charming.
Pudgy guy: I know!
Female friend: I wouldn’t give you my number.
Pudgy guy: Oh, I know… The alcohol helped.

–89th & 3rd

Chick #1: You’re not trying.
Chick #2: Yes, I am.
Drunk guy: What’s your name, beautiful?
Chick #2: I don’t have one.

–Off the Wagon bar, MacDougal

Overheard by: NYU Student

Creepy Casanova: Want to hear the worst pick up line ever? ‘Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?’

–Bronx High School of Science

Overheard by: LSB

Sassy Goldilocks: Honey, my porridge is juuust right.

–Karma bar

Overheard by: Nunez

Gym rat to gym bunny: Dude, sneezing is, like, the best feeling in the world, and the worst feeling is not sneezing.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Girl with slightly broader perspective on life

Hardhat to jogger chick: Man, I’ll buy you a steak dinner. I’ll even pay for it.

–13th & 3rd

Blonde chick: So, then he was like, ‘What side do you like to take it from, and, ummm, do you have herpes?’

–Kenmare & Lafayette

Girl on cell: Yeah, and so this really tall half-Indian guy in the subway goes to me, ‘I must say, those are beautiful flowers in your hair…’ Which basically means, ‘Those are beautiful tits on your chest,’ but it was still really sweet of him.

–Fashion Institute of Technology

Worst nerd-flirt ever: Have you ever had goats’ milk squirted in your eye? I have.

–NYU Health Center

Dude: If I wasn’t getting married in a month, this would be the part where I introduce myself and ask you out on a date.
Chick: Oh.
Dude: I just thought you might like that.

–Q train

Overheard by: Morgan

Old hobo: So, can I have your number?
Pretty girl, who’s been ignoring him for a while: Uh, no…
Old hobo: Well, you’re a lesbian! You don’t want no man!
Pretty girl: I already have a man.
Old hobo: Yeah, a lesbian man!

–2nd Ave subway stop

Overheard by: Dahlia

Little boy: You want me!
Little girl: You wish!
Little boy: You want me. You love me!
Little girl: Quit lyin’ to yo’self!
Little boy: You want me! But you can’t have me… Bitch!

–W 134th & Adam Clayton Powell Jr Blvd

Overheard by: vegannramember