Chick: Wow…
Middle-aged man: Yeah, girl, when I get home it all comes off!
–23rd & Park
Overheard by: Black in Queens
Chick: Wow…
Middle-aged man: Yeah, girl, when I get home it all comes off!
–23rd & Park
Overheard by: Black in Queens
Hobo: Are the raindrops only falling on me? Does anyone feel this?
Girl: I think it’s everyone…
Hobo: Now that I got you to talk to me, want to go out tonight? [Girl ignores him.] What?! I had a beautiful girl last night — I can’t get a normal one today?!
–Union Square
Frat boys in truck: Wooo! Where the ladies at?!
Queer couple, walking arm-in-arm: Right heeere!
–East Village
Overheard by: afro*T*siac
Party girl, looking at police on horses: I want to take a horse to the Upper East Side!
Jock: You’re going to the Upper East Side? Want to share a cab?
Party girl: Sure.
Jock: Want to fuck?
Party girl: Sure.
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: wish i had asked her
Pudgy guy: I got her number.
Female friend: Oh, you did?! Wow, you must have been charming.
Pudgy guy: I know!
Female friend: I wouldn’t give you my number.
Pudgy guy: Oh, I know… The alcohol helped.
–89th & 3rd
Chick #1: You’re not trying.
Chick #2: Yes, I am.
Drunk guy: What’s your name, beautiful?
Chick #2: I don’t have one.
–Off the Wagon bar, MacDougal
Overheard by: NYU Student
Creepy Casanova: Want to hear the worst pick up line ever? ‘Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?’
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: LSB
Sassy Goldilocks: Honey, my porridge is juuust right.
–Karma bar
Overheard by: Nunez
Gym rat to gym bunny: Dude, sneezing is, like, the best feeling in the world, and the worst feeling is not sneezing.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Girl with slightly broader perspective on life
Hardhat to jogger chick: Man, I’ll buy you a steak dinner. I’ll even pay for it.
–13th & 3rd
Blonde chick: So, then he was like, ‘What side do you like to take it from, and, ummm, do you have herpes?’
–Kenmare & Lafayette
Girl on cell: Yeah, and so this really tall half-Indian guy in the subway goes to me, ‘I must say, those are beautiful flowers in your hair…’ Which basically means, ‘Those are beautiful tits on your chest,’ but it was still really sweet of him.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Worst nerd-flirt ever: Have you ever had goats’ milk squirted in your eye? I have.
–NYU Health Center
Dude: If I wasn’t getting married in a month, this would be the part where I introduce myself and ask you out on a date.
Chick: Oh.
Dude: I just thought you might like that.
–Q train
Overheard by: Morgan
Old hobo: So, can I have your number?
Pretty girl, who’s been ignoring him for a while: Uh, no…
Old hobo: Well, you’re a lesbian! You don’t want no man!
Pretty girl: I already have a man.
Old hobo: Yeah, a lesbian man!
–2nd Ave subway stop
Overheard by: Dahlia
Little boy: You want me!
Little girl: You wish!
Little boy: You want me. You love me!
Little girl: Quit lyin’ to yo’self!
Little boy: You want me! But you can’t have me… Bitch!
–W 134th & Adam Clayton Powell Jr Blvd
Overheard by: vegannramember