Dude #1: Yo, check it out: this chick in the lecture I was just in — huge tits, bro.
Dude #2: Yeah?
Dude #1: Yeah. Fucking bombs.
Dude #2: That’s it? That’s the story? I mean, I like tits, but there’s gotta be a point to a story, man.
Dude #1, after long pause: … Fag.
–Kimmel Center, NYU
Overheard by: that guy
Girl: You went out with a girl named ‘Flower’?!
Boy: You have very big boobs.
–Brooklyn Public Library, Coney Island
Overheard by: breaking the library rules
Puerto Rican mom to son eating sour candies: You best not be gettin’ that sugar all over my titties, nigga!
–4 train to Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Carly
Hipster girl: So, he asked if he could touch my boob, but I told him I already had someone.
–Studio B
Overheard by: Trosster
Man: You fucking impostor! Impostor! Men have chests, not titties, bitch!
–Lincoln Place, Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Audrey
Woman: Okay, should we start a Facebook group for people with great cleavage? Or is that déclassé?
–Bedford & 7th, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Ladle
French woman to friend: You can’t have breasts in New York.
–Elevator, Magazine publishing company
Little girl: Mommy used to give me booby, but now she gives the baby booby.
Uncle: That’s what mommies do.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: greenwood
Drunk black girl: I just wanna pull my tits out!
Drunk white girl: Not here. In Africa, fine, but not here.
–14th St, between 1st & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Someone who’s sure they’ve never been to Africa.
Hipster to friend about passing gaggle of hipsterettes: Dude, tits — that’s all you’re staring at.
–Meserole St & Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint
Overheard by: napalm kitty
Hardhat #1 with pavement-smoothing machine: It won’t start.
Hardhat #2: I tell ya, if it’s got tits or wheels, it’s gonna give ya problems.
–75th & 3rd
Overheard by: Mo
Creepster #1: So, I wrote her an e-mail that said, ‘Your titties look really nice. They look really succulent.’
Creepster #2: You wrote ‘succulent’?
Creepster #1: Yeah, I said, ‘Your titties look succulent in photo number five.’
Creepster #2: That’s fucked up.
Creepster #1: I know, but…
–Union & Smith, Brooklyn
Overheard by: crowin
Woman #1: So get this — my friend can wear any color bra she wants with any color shirt and no matter what she wears, you can never see her bra through her shirt.
Woman #2: Wow, how does she do that?
Woman #1: I’m pretty sure it’s because she’s flat chested.
–Elevator, Midtown office building
Hardhat #1: It’s like them women who hang themselves by the titties from raven claws, you know?
Hardhat #2: No, I don’t know.
–Chelsea Market
Overheard by: Tom
