Jewish girl to black friend: I want a black boyfriend…what if I turned really ghetto? What if I start to wear baby phat? I’ll be like, this is what Kamal likes. Ohmygod, what if he has his own made-up name? I’ll be like, oh Styx just called me.
–98th & Madison
Overheard by: nathalie
Girl: Hey, you!
Random guy: Yes?
Girl: Not you, the guy behind you.
Other guy: Yes?
Girl: On a scale of one to ten, what do you think my chances are with the guy I just spoke to before you?
–58th & 6th
Guy: Man, we gotta get you on a J-Date sometime soon.
–53rd & 1st
Overheard by: Pam, Lauren, and Gloria
Limo driver: If you were my girl I’d quit lying and cheating.
–55th between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: turned off
Jockman: Sweetie, you’re being silly. I shaved my legs to be more aerodynamic.
Girlfriend: Don’t talk to me.
–F train
Construction worker #1: …I don’t know, maybe a dozen or so.
Construction worker #2: Okay, but how many relationships have you had?
–55th between Park & Madison
Overheard by: Katie Compa
Suit #1: So she got really mad at me when I was trying to break up with her, she was like “You’re breaking up with me cause you like me too much?” And I was like “Ya, totally.” She just didn’t understand.
Suit #2: Dude, that’s rough.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: two rows back
Queer #1: Do you know anyone named Jonathan who is here tonight?
Queer #2: I know five Jonathans who are here tonight. Why?
Queer #1: Because this guy named Jonathan just came up and started making out with me and then left.
Queer #2: That sounds like all five Jonathans.
–View Bar, 22nd & 8th
Girl on cell: No, I haven’t had a chance to blow him off yet.
–6th & 53rd
Drunk blonde: How old are you?
Kid: 17.
Drunk blonde: Ever been with a 26-year-old?
Kid’s father intervenes.
–B. B. King’s, Machine concert
Overheard by: Brown Eyed Girl
Girl #1: Hi…What are you drinking?
Girl #2: Hi. It’s rum and cranberry.
Girl #1: Are you single?
Girl #2: Yeah
Girl #1: I love my boyfriend…but sometimes I just wanna fuck other people.
Girl #2 just stares at Girl 1.
Girl #1: Have you ever been in love?
Girl #2: Yeah
Girl #1: Didn’t you ever just wanna fuck other people?
Girl #2: Umm…no. Not when I was with him. You might have a problem.
Girl #1: Wanna go to the bathroom?
Girl #2: Definitely not.
–The Hairy Monk
Overheard by: Shannon
