Girl #1: Oh my god, my roommate is so weird. She keeps farting, but I don’t smell anything.
Girl #2: She must be anorexic.
Girl #1: True! I didn’t think of that. I’m so glad I’m friends with someone that got a scholarship!
–Starbucks, 51st & Broadway
Overheard by: Or she’s bullemic.
Bimbette #1: … And so that skinny boy at work — he asked me if my boyfriend was cute.
Bimbette #2: You don’t have a boyfriend, though.
Bimbette #1: I know! And I told him that, and he goes, ‘Oh! So that’s why you’re such a bitch!’
Bimbette #2: What a fag.
–Starbucks, W 4th
Overheard by: Lacy
Lady suit: Did you bring that from the office?
Suit #1, holding up expensive pen: Oh, yeah, to look official. You know, for self-importance.
Suit #2: Yeah, self-esteem has been bad this week.
Lady suit: I think we need to go out drinking.
–Starbucks, 21st & 5th
Overheard by: maybe they could order a coffee liquer?
Barista guy to girl wearing Red Sox hat: What do we have here? A Red Sox fan? What are you doing in this city? You don’t belong here. Hey, what’s your name? Hey! Are you ignoring me?
Red Sox girl: I’m sorry, did you say something?
Barista guy: Yeah, I was talking about your hat — it sucks.
Red Sox girl: Yeah, whatever. You didn’t spit in my latte or anything, did you?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Snooper
Girl #1: Yeah, she said, ‘I won’t settle for anything less than a Range Rover with Connecticut license plates.’
Girl #2: Oh my god, that is so amazing! I have to put that on my ‘Favorite quotes’ section in Facebook.
–Starbucks, 14th & 6th
Little girl: What happened to your glasses?
Little boy: I lost them in my room.
Little girl: That’s dumb of you… But you look much more attractive without them.
Little boy: Thanks!
–Starbucks, 85th & 1st
Overheard by: Micaela
Car owner: Yeah, I just bought it. It has a supernova in it.
Friend: It must go really fast.
–Starbucks
Barista, mumbling under her breath: Just because you have to catch your damn bus…
Hurried customer, handing over credit card: Grande Caramel Macchiato [walks away from counter].
Barista: Sir, don’t you want your card back?
Hurried customer: Oh, you can keep it. Don’t you want to go to Bergdorf?
Barista: [Blank stare.]Hurried customer: You know — Bergdorf Goodman in Midtown. Expensive designer stuff!
Barista: I have enough credit — I don’t need your friggin’ card.
–Starbucks, Park Row & Beekman
Overheard by: compnerd aka
Guy: She is not a crack whore!
Chick: She’s pregnant and she’s doing cocaine!
Guy: Well, that’s not crack.
–Starbucks
Chubby chick #1: Oh my god, you know who I look like and who I sound like? I saw like this really, really old CD of Barbara Cook, and she’s so much fatter than me, but we sing exactly alike! [Sings.]Chubby chick #2: I don’t really think I look like anybody. That’s not true — I look like a Gummi Bear.
–Starbucks, 52nd & Lex
