Middle aged woman, loudly: Spring is in the air, and I'm feeling sprung!
Middle aged husband: Babe, what the hell ya doin?
–Starbucks, Queens
Middle aged woman, loudly: Spring is in the air, and I'm feeling sprung!
Middle aged husband: Babe, what the hell ya doin?
–Starbucks, Queens
Girl #1: So, we have a bet — if I have sex first, then I have to wear a shirt that she’s written all over, but if she– [looks around].
Girl #2: If she what?
Girl #1: … I’ll tell you later. I feel like people are listening, and I don’t want to end up on some website.
–Starbucks, 51st & Broadway
Strange guy: Excuse me, NYU students?
Guy #1: Yeah?
Strange guy: I’m your biggest rival.
Guy #1: Huh?
Strange guy: Columbia. Law school. I’m coming for you.
Guy #1: Okay…
Strange guy: Employer sees résumé from NYU, résumé from Columbia, always picks Columbia.
Guy #1: Okay. Have a nice day.
Strange guy: I’m coming for you, trust fund baby.
Guy #2: I’m sure that Columbia résumé makes up for not having a penis…
Guy #1: Trust fund baby?
Strange guy: Columbia. [Flicks them off and leaves.]
–Starbucks, Astor Pl & Lafayette
Overheard by: NYU Student
Customer: A hot coffee, please.
Cashier: Huh?
–Starbucks, 28th & 3rd
Cashier #1: I felt so bad. She was trying to be so nice to her, but this woman was just horrible.
Cashier #2: What happened?
Cashier #1: She asked her if she wanted a vente mocha frappacino–she was even smiling and stuff when she asked–and then the woman got all mad and said, “Look it, I don’t speak Italian.”
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Cute nerd-girl playing scrabble #1: Did you see that episode where Data made a daughter? It was so good, and so sad!
Cute nerd-girl playing scrabble #2: Yeah, it was.
Cute nerd #1: And do you remember the episode when the little boy idolized data…
Cute nerd #2 interrupting: I remember all the episodes.
Cute nerd #1: But there was this one scene…
Cute nerd #2: I remember that scene.
Cute nerd #1: But I didn’t finish…
Cute nerd #2: I remember all the scenes. Seriously. There was one time when my friend was flipping channels, and she flipped to Star Trek. And I only saw like, a quarter of a second of it, with Dr Crusher bending over a patient, and I said, “‘his blood is turning to some kind of liquid polymer.'” and then Dr Crusher said, “His blood is turning to some kind of liquid polymer!” It’s like when some people hear like 3 seconds of a song and can identify it. I can do that with Star Trek.
–Starbucks, 2nd & 9th
Hipster on cell: Dude, yeah, coffee gives me the shits too; but I'd rather have the shits than no coffee.
–Dunkin' Donuts
Overheard by: Madalyn
Poet, selling self-published book on train: We're like Starbucks coffee and biscotti; you're tall and hot and I'm hard and nutty.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Marc
Little girl to mother: It's like every single person in the whole wide world came to Starbucks and we were the veeeerrrrryyy last ones.
–Starbucks
Colonel Sanders-looking man, in strong Southern accent: I want somethin cold… Whadya git?
–Starbucks
Cute but innocent 20-something: Guess where I'm going tonight?
Older female coworker: Oh, is tonight the night you're going out with the hockey team?
Cute but innocent 20-something: Yeah, I won a contest! I'm going to Pittsburgh on a bus with the Islanders.
Male coworker: And when you come back, you'll be a woman.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Big Larry
Guy: You ever try Kopi Luwak?
Girl: No, who is he?
Guy: It’s not a he, it’s the world’s most expensive coffee.
Girl: That’s not the coffee that’s made from cat shit, is it?
Guy: It’s not made from cat shit.
Girl: They pick the beans out of the cat shit.
Guy: Sort of.
Girl: So that posers like you can drink it.
Guy: You don’t understand the concept of gourmet.
Girl: Maybe not, but I understand the concept of eating shit.
–Starbucks, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Woman: Hi, I just realized today that my wallet was stolen a month ago.
–Chase Manhattan, Broadway & 73rd
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Guy: I’ll have a Mahatma grande.
–Starbucks, Broadway & 98th
Lady: If it was a real fortune-teller or whatever, they’re not supposed to charge you, right?
–78th & 2nd
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
