Tween girl #1: He had a boner. It was so gross.
Tween girl #2: How do you know he had a boner?
Tween girl #1: I’ve known him since first grade. He had a boner.
Tween guy: How does knowing him since first grade have anything to do with knowing that he had a boner?


Overheard by: Bryan

Guy #1: The Great Cock Hunt? Isn’t that a Hunter S. Thompson novel?
Guy #2: No, you idiot. It’s a gay porn site. What kind of mo are you?

–Starbucks, 23rd & 8th

Mom to fussing toddler: I’m right here, sweetheart!
Crazy guy: Sweetheart. Sweeeetheart. Why not “salt” heart? Saaaaaaaaaalllllllttttt heeeeaaaaaarrt!


Guy #1: Dude, I just totally saw my first dead guy!
Guy #2: Wow, how long have you lived here?
Guy #1: About two years.
Guy #2: Damn, it took you that long to see a dead guy? Have you ever stepped outside your apartment?

–Starbucks, Broadway

Foreigner: Excusa me, sir, I get the milk, yes?
Barista #1 holding steamed milk: No. You ordered a Doppio. You don’t get no milk in a Doppio.
Foreigner, holding drink out to Barista #1: But the milk?
Barista #1, cradling milk: No! You don’t get no fuckin’ milk! Order a fuckin’ latte, and then I’ll give you some of this milk! You can pour yourself some of that stale shit from over there, but you don’t get none of this milk!

Barista #2 grabs cup and pours the customer some milk.

Barista #2 to Barista #1: Shit, this ain’t Valentine’s Day — don’t you get emotional. It’s some other holiday. Hell, it’s Christmas. [To customer] Here you go, sir! Merry Christmas!

–Starbucks, St. Marks & 3rd Ave

Guy: We’re not friends on Facebook.
Girl: But how do you see my pictures?
Guy: Well, there’s some of your photos that are private, and others that are public. When I go to your page, which is often, I can just search through those, or go to your friends’ pages. A lot of them don’t have private pictures.

–Starbucks, Union Square

Overheard by: Randy

Friendly old lady: Did you see the way your dog greeted me outside? Stood right up on its hind legs to say hello! Such a sweet animal!
Middle‐aged computer geek: Yes, he likes to socialize. I’m working. Enjoy.

–Starbucks, Broadway & 70th St

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

[Skinny girl takes box of equal out of her pocket and puts half the packages in her coffee.]Friend: What are you doing? You’re going to get cancer!
Equal girl: Yeah, but I won’t get fat.


NYU girl #1: Drinking Starbucks does not make you skip your period.
NYU girl #2: It totally does!


Girl, as phone vibrates in her pocket: Oh, that scared me! My phone always scares me when it vibrates like that!
Old lady in bike shorts: Girl, you should never let a vibrator scare you!