Guy: I can’t believe my boyfriend’s little brother still believes in Santa Claus.
Cute girl: Why? How old is he?
Guy: He’s ten.
Cute girl: He should still believe in Santa Claus.
Guy: Well, I knew better by ten.
Cute girl: I didn’t. I didn’t know until I was sixteen.
–Virgin Megastore
Overheard by: Levi
Chick #1: God, we look so wasted, baked…
Chick #2: Your face is sooo red.
Chick #3: It kind of matches your eyes, though — like you’re blushing a lot.
–Restroom, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: tanechka
Black chick #1: Where should we go?
Black chick #2: Oh, there’s a Victoria’s Secret over there.
Black chick #1: Oh, no, I don’t go to Victoria’s Secret. I don’t buy shit from Victoria’s Secret. Niggas buy shit for me from Victoria’s Secret.
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: britt/brat
Skinny brunette: … And Michelle screamed at me! I mean, like, seriously! What’s her problem?!
Hot guy, tapping Rolex: We have to go! I need to use the bathroom!
Skinny brunette: Oh, just piss in the bushes. It’s not like this is a good store or anything.
–Outside Bergdorf Goodman’s
Overheard by: Caley
Short scene girl: I’m trying to bring back the bandanna. For sure. It makes me look like a bandit, no?
Tall scene girl: Oh, but of course. Myself, I’m trying to bring back the side pony.
Fat girl: How about the vest? Can I bring back the vest? Hmmm?
Other girls, in unison: Shut the fuck up.
–Whole Foods
Overheard by: Kelly
Rocker girl: Why should I buy music on iTunes when everything I have on my iPod I’ve gotten for free on the Internet?
Rocker guy: The songs are only 99 cents, and you’d be helping out the musicians…
Rocker girl: But I am a musician – I’m helping myself out!
–Virgin Megastore
Overheard by: Gunnar
Little kid: The sss…
Mother: The Sneetches.
Little kid: Sneetches and uhhh…
Mother: Other.
Little kid: Other sss…
Mother: Stories by Dr. Seuss.
Little kid: Seuss is dead.
–Outside Babbo’s Books
Father buying lightsaber: Just drop it! He wanted this one!
Mother: But it’s the dark side! You’re not supposed to join the dark side!
–Toys “R” Us
Little girl, holding up expensive candle: Oooh! Smell this!
Older sister: Smells like a cheap hooker.
–Urban Outfitters
Overheard by: Emily B.
Cashier #1: … And then she told me she got high on ecstasy by accident last night.
Cashier #2: By accident?
Cashier #1: Yeah. She was at his house and saw a little white thing on the coffee table, and that bitch thought it was a mint.
–Todaro Bros. Grocery, 2nd Ave
Overheard by: A
