Teen thug: Yo, I remember all that shit from back in the day. Like, in second grade there was this movie with a bug in it…!
Preteen thug: Word?
–42nd St-bound Q train
Teen thug: Yo, I remember all that shit from back in the day. Like, in second grade there was this movie with a bug in it…!
Preteen thug: Word?
–42nd St-bound Q train
Thugette #1: What’s it gonna be, girl? The dick or the blood?
Thugette #2: The blood, girl. It’s always the blood!
–Queens Library, Jamaica
Overheard by: Whatthefuckaretheytalkingabout?
Thug #1: We don’t even go to the movies or nothin’. She just comes over to smash it and then she leaves. She knows, too. She just comes over for some pipin’.
Thug #2: That’s where it’s at.
Thug #1: She got a 10-year-old li’l nigga, too. She knows not to ask for somethin’ serious. That li’l nigga in fifth grade! That nigga on MySpace!
–Houston & Suffolk
Overheard by: Rhymes With Lasagna
Headline by: ja
Runners-Up:
· “…And “To Catch A Predator”” – Stuck in the MidWest
· “He Comes Over for Some Pipin’ Too.” – Courtney
· “I Just Have to Wait for Her to Be in Eigth.” – Snark Sloper
· “That Li’l Nigga Gots Roast Beef and This Li’l Nigga Gots None.” – johnnyb
· “The Nucular Family” – Bill
· “The Waltons, 2007” – G’night, John Boy
Thugette #1: I’m gonna be gettin’ me a mermaid tattoo.
Thugette #2: Mermaids? Hey, mermaids ain’t no gangsta.
Thug: Yo, don’t you be dissin’ those mermaids. I’m down with the Little Mermaid.
–Times Square
Thugette: You a motherfucker.
Dirty thug: Yeah, I’m a motherfucker! If you’ve got a mother, I’ll fuck her! I’m a motherfucker!
–1 train
Overheard by: EthanK
Thug: There are two kinds of girls: those who make you and those who break you. Girls who are all, ‘Gimme-gimme this and that’ are the ones who are breaking you down. Those that hold you up and support you are the ones that make you.
Non-thug friend: Yeah, those that are there for you when you need them — you gotta hold onto them!
Thug: The only thing I remember my father telling me is — and I haven’t talked to my father since I was a teenager — ‘Lie to women day and night. Lie to them all the time. You have to mentally fuck a chick before you can hit her with the schlong.’
–W 147th St
Overheard by: KTnyc
Thug: [Hacking cough.]Old woman: You choking again? You keep it up and I’m gonna have to do the hymen maneuver on you!
Thug: Awww, hell no!
–Bx4 bus
Overheard by: some chick
Thugette: What are you doing today?
Thug: Going to Starbucks.
Thugette: Starbucks?
Thug: Yeah. What?
Thugette: That’s so 1960s.
–A train
Overheard by: Dengstein
Thug #1: Too much curry, man.
Thug #2: You don’t like curry?
Thug #1: Naw…
Thug #2: Yeah, it makes your balls itch.
–Indian spice store, 1st Ave, between 5th & 6th St
Overheard by: Anthony Recchia
Headline by: h
Runners-Up:
· “Be More Discerning Who You Bangalore” – Barry P.
· “He Prefers Ginger Who Makes Them Tingle, Instead.” – Lizard
· “No, No, I’m Talking About the Spice, Not the Tim.” – Katie
· “Why Else Do You Think Indians Wear Such Loose Pants?” – waphle
· “You Know, Just Because It Looks Like a Baby Powder Bottle…” – Herbie McHebrew
Teen thug #1: You met her in rehab? Son, you was only there three days…!
Teen thug #2: Yo, but check this out — she’s 35!
Teen thug #1: Son, she gonna drop yo’ ass when she finds out how old you are!
Teen thug #2: I already told her.
Teen thug #1, after long pause: Shit, then she a pedophile, son!
–F train
Overheard by: Missin the city
