Thug #1: Yo, what are you doing walking behind me?
Thug #2: I don’t know.
Thug #1: Yo, what are you doing? Nobody walks behind me… Unless it’s my girl… with a dildo.
–78th & 2nd
Overheard by: MLM
Thug #1: Yo, what are you doing walking behind me?
Thug #2: I don’t know.
Thug #1: Yo, what are you doing? Nobody walks behind me… Unless it’s my girl… with a dildo.
–78th & 2nd
Overheard by: MLM
Thug #1: I don’t know what happened — I bought her a shot!
Thug #2: Yo, you can’t be buyin’ shots for fat chicks — they be drinkin’ ’em anyway.
–W 4th, outside Down the Hatch
Overheard by: NCS
Thug #1: Why everyone lookin’ at us?
Thug #2: ‘Cause we be Crips! We the fuckin’ Crips, son!
–Outside Foot Locker, W 34th St
Overheard by: Micaela
Thug #1: All I’m saying is that you need to try before you buy.
Thug #2: What are you talking about?
Thug #1: ‘Cause you thought a dude in drag was a cute chick. Twice.
–W 87th & Amsterdam
Thugette #1: Man, where the fuck am I gonna get a prom dress and after-party outfit? You know, I should just sell crack! Ain’t nobody gonna stop me!
Thugette #2: Yeah, that’s the best part about being a girl.
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: DaraDay
Headline by: Zorak
Runners-Up:
· “By the way, are you free to babysit that night?” – bobofthejungle
· “Miracle of birth ain’t got nothin’ on pushin'” – Erin
· “Sugar and Crack and Everything Whack” – The Trayster
· “The Third Wave of Feminism Wants Its Money, Bitch” – clevecinema
· “Well, Other Than the Multiple Orgasms…” – Teppy
Hipster chick: Hey, what do you do when Pikachu won’t get on a bus?
Thug: I dunno.
Hipster chick: You poke him on! Get it? Like Pokemon?
Thug: No, then he would thunderstrike you.
Hipster chick: [Silence.]Thug: He’s an electric type, you know?
–M14D bus, 1st Ave
Overheard by: melanie
Thug #1: I’m gonna smoke that nigga. I’m gonna smoke him. Nah… Nah, he’s real nice. I like him. But he didn’t listen to me so I gotta smoke him.
Thug #2: Okay… Sure…
–4 train
Thug #1: You a Zack Morris-lookin’ motherfucker. Show him your gun.
Thug #2: We can be your body guards… Fuck up AC Slater for you.
Thug #1: Word. Get us some fine white bitches with Zack Morris.
–Alley next to Hogs & Heffers
Overheard by: Time to Call Mr. Belding
Thug teen with high voice: I didn’t say, ‘Scratch the inside of your butthole.’ I said, ‘Scratch the inside of your asshole.’
Lady friend: What’s the difference?
Thug teen with high voice: ‘Butthole’ make it sound nice and almost innocent. ‘Asshole’ make it sound downright nasty.
–UA movie theater, Sheepshead Bay
Overheard by: The Bling
Blonde: So, where is she from?
Friend: Croatia.
Blonde: Where’s that?
Friend: It’s, like, by Italy.
Blonde: Ohhh, like Czechoslovakia.
Friend: No, Croatia. Near Bosnia and Serbia.
Blonde: Oh, so it’s like Russia.
Thug: Croatia, bitch! Former Yugoslavia! Remember, they had a civil war and broke up into five countries?
Blonde: [Stares blankly.]Thug: Jesus Christ, study a fuckin’ map. Even Tara Reid knows where it is.
–6 train
