Mother: … And then we can go to Barnes and Noble’s and share some books.
Kid: Nooo!
Mother: Books are fun–
Kid, weeping: –No, they’re not!
–E 82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: emily
Mother: … And then we can go to Barnes and Noble’s and share some books.
Kid: Nooo!
Mother: Books are fun–
Kid, weeping: –No, they’re not!
–E 82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: emily
Coworker chick #1: You ready, spaghetti?
Coworker chick #2: [Silence.]Coworker chick #1: Well?!
Coworker chick #2: Wait, I’m thinking.
Coworker chick #1: Oh, okay.
Coworker chick #2: Like Lawrence Ferlinghetti!
–84th & 3rd
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Girl: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.
Male passerby: How can vegetarians love the environment? You keep eating all the plants!
–93rd & Lex
Overheard by: Carnivore
Suit #1: What hour do you get into the office?
Suit #2: I arrive around seven and leave at six-thirty.
Suit #1: So, you work twelve-hour days? Do you ever sit at your desk and just fondle your balls?
–Italian restaurant, UES
Jogging yuppie #1: Yeah, and then we went climbing up a cliff.
Jogging yuppie #2: Naked?
–69th & Park
Little girl: If the teacher said if something was really, really good, would that make you really happy?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said if something was good, would that make you happy?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was sorta good, would that make you so-so?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was bad, would that make you mad?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was really bad, would that make you really mad?
Mother: It would make me sick!
–97th & 3rd
Overheard by: squid
Girl: Oh my god, it’s coming out of me!
Guy: What, your blood, or my cum?
–81st & Columbus
Yuppie girl: Sometimes I feel like it would be fun to live in the projects.
Yuppie guy: Uh, why?
Yuppie girl: Everybody knows each other — it’s like summer camp.
Yuppie guy: But they shoot each other.
Yuppie girl: Yeah — summer camp, but with guns.
–99th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dan
Old lady: What did you just say?
Three-year-old: [Inaudible mumbling.]Old lady: Don’t curse, goddammit! You sound like a fucking ass!
–110th & Madison
20-something girl: You know, it’s just not in Donna… It’s just not in her hema-… hema-… What’s it called? It’s just not in her hematoma to be cool.
Friend: Totally! I know! No matter how she cuts her hair at any age she’ll just never look good.
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Abby
