Columbia girl #1: His parents invited me out to Greenwich this weekend, so I took time off from my internship and was all ready to go…
Columbia girl #2: You’re not going to go?
Columbia girl #1: Well, no. You know that rash I had on my right boob? It’s back.
Columbia girl #2: No way!
Columbia girl #1: Seriously. You’re not getting that thing near a bikini with my future mother-in-law anywhere nearby. She sniffs stuff like that out in no time. Like a bloodhound.
–E 74th St & Park
Drunk girl to couple making out: Whoa, get a room!
Boy, looking up and recognizing drunk girl: Hey! Wow! How have you been?
Drunk girl: Oh my god… And all this time I thought you were gay.
–59th & Lex
20-ish WASP in fur coat on cell: Don’t you have a bowl? [Sigh] Do you have a bottle of tonic or, like, an apple or a traffic cone? Well, I’m sure there is something in your apartment I can make a bong out of.
80-ish Jewish woman: That’s an inappropriate conversation if I ever heard one…
20-ish WASP in fur coat: Whatever, that was my boss.
–Elevator, 62nd & 2nd
Middle-aged lady: Wait — isn’t there supposed to be a separation between church and space?
Young lady: No! Well, yes…
–87th & Lex
Overheard by: hbomb
JAP #1: When I grow up I want to be purple.
JAP #2: What? I’m putting that on Facebook!
JAP #1: Why? I was just talking to myself… Fuck, I was talking to myself.
–82nd & Lex
Mother: And how do you stop the smoke from going through the crack under the door? Put… a… wet…
Toddler girl: Firefighter?
–77th & 1st
Girl: Don’t you feel bad?
Guy: About what?
Girl: For one, you’re in your girlfriend’s jeans, her jacket, her flats, and her fucking pearls. And second…
Guy: And second what?
Girl: You got fucked by three different guys in the two days she’s been out of town.
Guy: If I suck so much, why the fuck are we friends?
Girl: ‘Cause when she is out of town, I have my own little gay Barbie doll and fashion expert all in one. And it’s your turn to buy the manicures.
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: Julie
Pudgy guy: I got her number.
Female friend: Oh, you did?! Wow, you must have been charming.
Pudgy guy: I know!
Female friend: I wouldn’t give you my number.
Pudgy guy: Oh, I know… The alcohol helped.
–89th & 3rd
Thug #1: Yo, what are you doing walking behind me?
Thug #2: I don’t know.
Thug #1: Yo, what are you doing? Nobody walks behind me… Unless it’s my girl… with a dildo.
–78th & 2nd
Overheard by: MLM
Girl #1: My grandma is coming into the city Saturday to bleach my cat.
Girl #2: Bleach your cat?
Girl #1: Yeah, he got into the flowers and the pollen turned him canary yellow.
Girl #2: Bleach your cat?
Girl #1: Well, it didn’t come off in the bath…
–82nd & Madison
