Girl: Don’t you feel bad?
Guy: About what?
Girl: For one, you’re in your girlfriend’s jeans, her jacket, her flats, and her fucking pearls. And second…
Guy: And second what?
Girl: You got fucked by three different guys in the two days she’s been out of town.
Guy: If I suck so much, why the fuck are we friends?
Girl: ‘Cause when she is out of town, I have my own little gay Barbie doll and fashion expert all in one. And it’s your turn to buy the manicures.
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: Julie
Pudgy guy: I got her number.
Female friend: Oh, you did?! Wow, you must have been charming.
Pudgy guy: I know!
Female friend: I wouldn’t give you my number.
Pudgy guy: Oh, I know… The alcohol helped.
–89th & 3rd
Thug #1: Yo, what are you doing walking behind me?
Thug #2: I don’t know.
Thug #1: Yo, what are you doing? Nobody walks behind me… Unless it’s my girl… with a dildo.
–78th & 2nd
Overheard by: MLM
Girl #1: My grandma is coming into the city Saturday to bleach my cat.
Girl #2: Bleach your cat?
Girl #1: Yeah, he got into the flowers and the pollen turned him canary yellow.
Girl #2: Bleach your cat?
Girl #1: Well, it didn’t come off in the bath…
–82nd & Madison
Hipster girl: Let’s just go to the arcade with them.
JAP: I’d rather make out with Hitler.
–85th & Park
Grocery stock boy #1: Man, I need to get me some foreign pussy. Out of town, out of state, out of country — shit, I just want to see what it’s like.
Grocery stock boy #2: Word.
–E 79th & York
Overheard by: PBT
Hot mom to kid while walking past construction site: That’s called rebar. Can you say ‘rebar’?
Hardhat: Rebar!
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: hbomb
Old lady: … And he was so fed up with this other guy that he killed him.
Old man: Oh.
Passerby, shocked: You’re talking about a movie, right?
Old lady, confused: No.
–83rd & 1st
Overheard by: Wants the book rights first
Mother: … And then we can go to Barnes and Noble’s and share some books.
Kid: Nooo!
Mother: Books are fun–
Kid, weeping: –No, they’re not!
–E 82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: emily
Coworker chick #1: You ready, spaghetti?
Coworker chick #2: [Silence.]Coworker chick #1: Well?!
Coworker chick #2: Wait, I’m thinking.
Coworker chick #1: Oh, okay.
Coworker chick #2: Like Lawrence Ferlinghetti!
–84th & 3rd
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
